


Bulletproof

by Lady_Sage



Category: Persona 3
Genre: Drama, Fluff and Angst, I personally feel this is my best work yet, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Slow Burn, not to toot my own horn, these two boys are going to be the death of me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-02-10 14:53:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 30,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12914235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Sage/pseuds/Lady_Sage
Summary: Akihiko didn’t move. He didn’t even get back to his feet. Instead, he lay back and stared at the dark sky. There were too many city lights to make out any stars, but that was okay. The point wasn’t to see the stars. The point was to lie there. So, that’s what he did. He lay in silence, surrounded by the night.Soon enough, he felt the presence of another body lay down beside him. He turned his head to see Shinjiro. Huh. Akihiko figured the brunette had long since walked away from him. Guess he was wrong.“I don’t know why I still put up with you,” Shinjiro spoke up.“I do,” Akihiko said. “You’re all I have left.”No other words were exchanged. Neither of them had anything else they wanted to say. So, they continued to lay there. Akihiko was perfectly content with that, though. He didn’t have to be at the dorm with Shinjiro to feel safe. He just simply had to be with him. It didn’t matter, so long as he knew he was alive.





	1. The Return

Akihiko was waiting outside Hagakure with Arisato. He knew his timing was right; his timing was always right. School had only just gotten out, after all. So, it was only a matter of time…

 

Finally, the brunette he had been waiting for walked out of the shop, and Akihiko was ready to jump into action. He stood up straight and approached him, Arisato following close behind.

 

Shinjiro rolled his eyes when he noticed them. “You’re getting on my nerves.”

 

“The situation has changed,” Akihiko said. “Sorry, but this time, I’m not asking.”

 

“What?”

 

He held up the briefcase he’d been carrying. “This belongs to you. We have a new enemy. They’re Persona-users, like us.”

 

“Yeah, so what?” He turned to walk away.

 

“There’s more,” he said, stopping him. “Ken Amada has joined our team.”

 

That caught Shinjiro’s attention. As he figured it would. “What the hell are you talking about?”

 

“He has the potential, and Ikutsuki-san has okayed it. He’s now a Persona-user.”

 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me…” He sighed, considering this new information. “Let me ask you one thing…” Another pause. “Was it his decision to join SEES?”

 

“Yeah. He volunteered.”

 

“I see.” He let out another sigh, shaking his head. “Then count me in.” He turned towards Arisato. “So, you’re the one leading the operations now, huh?” Arisato nodded. “If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly are you fighting for?”

 

Now Arisato shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know yet.”

 

“Is that so? Well, you do your thing and I’ll do mine.” He walked back over to Akihiko to take the briefcase from him. “Is my room still vacant?”

 

Akihiko nodded. “Of course it is.”

 

The brunette nodded in return. The three of them then made their way back to the dorm. Once they arrived, Shinjiro was sure to head straight up to his old room. Akihiko kept on his tail, but they both stopped short on the second-floor landing when they bumped into Mitsuru, who seemed to have been on her way down from the third floor.

 

“Shinjiro,” she said, her eyes wide. She glanced down at the briefcase in his hand. “Does this mean what I think it means?”

 

“Tch.” The brunette rolled his shoulders. “Don’t go throwing a welcoming party or some shit.” And he retreated to his room.

 

Mitsuru looked to Akihiko. “You got him to come back.” She shook her head, searching for the right words. “H-how did you—?” The brunette exited his room and rejoined the other two. “I suppose we should get you caught up,” she said, forgetting about the rest of her question.

 

With that, the three of them sat down around the table. Mitsuru informed Shinjiro about everything the group had gone through since April, plus the information they had found out when they visited her father in July. He took in all the information in stride, which Akihiko was almost surprised by. He knew Shinjiro better than that, though. He looked cool and collected on the outside, but half the time, the brunette’s mind was in a frenzy. Hell, Akihiko couldn’t say any better about himself, though. It was part of why he and the brunette clicked so well…

 

And part of why they didn’t.

 

“I am truly glad to have you back, Shinjiro,” Mitsuru said once they had finished their discussion. “But I can’t help wondering what motivated you to pick up your Evoker once again. Something must have affected you profoundly.” She paused, looking between the two old friends. “I won’t ask you now, though.”

 

“I appreciate that,” Shinjiro said. “Maybe someday I’ll be in the mood to tell you.”

 

“I’ve been waiting for this day, too, Shinji,” Akihiko spoke up. “I’m ready for battle right now, in fact.”

 

“Tch. You’re as hot-headed as always.”

 

He grinned in response. “C’mon, it’ll be just like old times.”

 

“Well, you better not fall behind like old times.”

 

That wiped the smugness right off his face. “Shut up. I would never.”

 

Mitsuru chuckled at the two of them. “Well, if that’s all, I think I’ll turn in for the night.” She rose to her feet and headed up to the third floor.

 

“Let’s sneak out to Tartarus tonight. Just you and me,” Akihiko said once she was out of sight.

 

“You’re just as hot-headed, but you’re an even bigger moron.”

 

“You say that like we never used to sneak out before.”

 

“Yeah, and two of those times we had to call Kirijo to bail our asses out of trouble due to your recklessness.” He rose to his feet as well. “Stop being so childish.”

 

Akihiko followed the other as he made his way back to his room. “What better way to get back into the swing of things, though?”

 

“I’ll get practice in when we go to Tartarus as a group. It’s always disastrous when it’s only you and me.”

 

“You say that like we’re bad karma.”

 

“Maybe we are.”

 

“Tch.” He threw a few punches to the air, bouncing his weight back and forth. “C’mon, lighten up.”

 

“Grow up.”

 

Now he stopped all his actions. “Shinji—”

 

“Keep in mind that I ain’t here for you,” he said. “So, I don’t have time to deal with your bad habits.”

 

“Well…maybe I don’t have time to deal with your bad attitude.”

 

“Whatever. Then get out of my room.”

 

Akihiko didn’t need to be told twice. He left the brunette’s room and made his way to his own. _Whatever_. He hated when Shinjiro would say that; it never failed to piss him off. And he was pretty sure the other knew that. He was pretty sure that was why the other always said it. That was the way for him to get the final word.

 

It had always been like that. Ever since they were kids. They had always been best friends, but they also had always been stubborn. Fighters. And as soon as they learned they could do more harm with their fists than with their words, they practically stopped speaking to one another. All arguments started with _whatever_ and ended with a bruised lip or a black eye. Or both.

 

They weren’t kids anymore, though. Yet, they still didn’t know how to settle things with words. Akihiko didn’t know if that would ever change. Neither of them had ever been very good with expressing themselves with things other than actions. Or fists, at least. It was all they knew. It was what they were familiar with. It was what they had conditioned themselves to. It was almost the only way they could understand each other. A punch to the gut meant one thing, while a punch to the jaw meant another thing. And Shinjiro’s headbutts… Well shit, those were a whole language in themselves.

 

This was their relationship. Akihiko wasn’t sure if it would ever change. He wasn’t sure if he ever wanted it to change. Because fighting with Shinjiro—as childish as it may have been—was probably the closest he would ever get to be with him.


	2. The Pills

Akihiko wasn’t sure how he had managed to get to Port Island Station so quickly from the hospital. He didn’t care, though. All he cared about was catching up with Shinjiro. Stopping him. Getting an explanation from him. Getting anything out of him.

 

“Hey, wait…Shinji,” he called after him. “What the hell’s going on? Why did you have those pills?” He finally got him to stop walking. “I’ve heard about those. They’re taken to suppress a Persona when the user can’t control it. But the side effects…” He squeezed his eyes shut. “You aren’t taking them, are you?” He waited for an answer he knew he wasn’t gonna get. So, he reopened his eyes. “Answer me.”

 

“I don’t owe anything to you,” Shinjiro spoke up.

 

“Tch. The same as always.”

 

“Save it. I’ve heard it all before. You think I’m wasting my power, but you’re just too thick-headed. I’m tired of your damn preaching.”

 

That was when Akihiko punched the brunette square in the jaw. _You’re an idiot_. And he wanted nothing more than to throw another punch, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Almost like he didn’t have the energy to fight him this time. He was too devastated.

 

Damn it. They were so bad at talking that his own best friend turned to drugs for support rather than to him.

 

“Don’t you get it,” Akihiko started. “You know the reason… Ten years ago. My sister. The fire. I wasn’t strong enough to save her. They held me back while she—” The words caught in his throat as he squeezed his eyes shut again. Shinjiro kept quiet, refusing to look at the other. “That’s why I try so hard,” he went on. “We promised, remember? To become strong enough to do what we think is right.” He took a deep breath. He had to ask this question. He couldn’t just avoid it like they would during every other argument. “So, why the drugs?” He opened his eyes to meet the other’s gaze. “Why didn’t you come talk to me?”

 

“I’m back in the fight now,” Shinjiro said. “So, let it go.”

 

He let out a heavy sigh. There would be no getting through to him. He knew that all too well. “And the side effects?”

 

“There’s something I need to take care of. It’s something only I can do.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Listen, don’t worry about me. Just do what you think is right.”

 

Shinjiro walked away, and Akihiko wanted to scream after him. _Of course I’m gonna worry, idiot. Damn it, just let me help you. For once in your life, stop being so stubborn_. If only he could say that out loud. As to why he couldn’t, he would never understand. Something was blocking his vocal chords. Anger. Pain. Betrayal. Immaturity. Not that it really mattered anymore; the brunette was already gone.

 

When Akihiko returned to the dorm, he headed straight to his bedroom. He threw on his boxing gloves and started throwing punches at his heavy bag. It was the only way he could cut off the rest of the world. Block out the white noise. When it was just him and his heavy bag, nothing else existed. Just sweat, sand, and leather.

 

As the evening passed, there were multiple knocks on his door. He ignored all of them. He wasn’t in the mood to converse with any of the others. Nor did they need to see him like this. It wasn’t until the sun had long since set when the door opened on its own. He grabbed his heavy bag to halt the momentum before looking to see who had intruded upon his session.

 

Shinjiro. Tch. Who else?

 

“What do you want?” he said, returning his focus on his heavy bag.

 

“You can be mad at me all you want, but don’t ignore the others,” Shinjiro said. “They’re worried about you.”

 

“I’m fine.” He threw a few more punches. “Never better.”

 

The brunette fell silent for a moment as he just watched the other. “Gotta admit, I feel bad for whoever has to go up against you in matches.” He rubbed his jaw. “Sucks being on the receiving end of those hits.”

 

“If you’re here for an apology, you got another thing coming.”

 

“Tch. I know you better than that. You’ll hit me at least twice more before even thinking about apologising.”

 

“The hell do you want?” Akihiko said again, stopping his movements once more to focus his attention on the other.

 

Shinjiro shrugged his shoulders. “Figured you’d want to know I was home.”

 

“I don’t need an hour-by-hour update on you.”

 

His gaze fell to the floor now. “Right. Well…” He shook his head, clearing his throat. “Don’t wear yourself out. We’re going to Tartarus tonight.” And he left.

 

Akihiko let out a heavy sigh as he collapsed to the floor. All his momentum had passed him by, and now he just felt exhausted. He wouldn’t have had the energy to go after the brunette even if he had wanted to. Except he didn’t want to. Shinjiro never took the time to go after him, so why should Akihiko do him any favours? Why…?

 

Because they were supposed to be best friends, and that’s what best friends do. No matter what, they support each other. Even if the other is a stubborn jackass. And Shinjiro was definitely a stubborn jackass. That was his most prominent feature. That, and his scowl. The single expression Akihiko could see right through. After all, that scowl was…special. Shinjiro only wore that scowl when he was thinking thoroughly about something big. Something important. Something…well, special. Akihiko had only managed to learn that scowl from fighting with him so often. Every time he had the brunette pinned, he would put on that scowl as he debated his options. His next move. His escape. It was the single expression that correlated from his fighting into his unspoken words. It was the single expression Akihiko could see through, and that scared him more than anything else. It made him realise that maybe he didn’t know his best friend at all.

 

Maybe he would never know more than the roughness of his knuckles.


	3. The Dream

He was running towards the jungle gym. He felt lightyears ahead of the brunette chasing after him. He grinned as he grew nearer to the mountain-like structure ahead of him. At least, that was how it felt to a nine-year-old.

 

“Watch this,” he said to the other. He then leaped onto the jungle gym, grabbing hold of one of the taller bars. He swung his legs up and climbed his way to the top. Once he made it, he stood tall on his mountain peak. “From way up here, it’s like I’m an Emperor and I’m ruling my kingdom.”

 

“C’mon, stop being such a showoff, Aki,” the brunette said from the ground. “You’re not impressing anyone.”

 

“Not even you?”

 

“Why would you want to impress me?”

 

Akihiko grinned again. “An Emperor seeks to impress anyone and everyone.”

 

“Tch.” The brunette rolled his eyes. “Get down before you hurt yourself.”

 

He put his hands on his hips, puffing out his chest. “No one can hurt the Emperor.”

 

“Anyone can hurt the Emperor if he’s as big of a moron as you are.”

 

“C’mon, Shinji, why won’t you play along?”

 

“Because I know how clumsy you are,” Shinjiro said. “Seriously, Aki, get down before you hurt yourself.”

 

He sighed. “Fine…”

 

Akihiko bent over and sat down on the top of the jungle gym. He grabbed hold of the top bars and swung himself over to start climbing down. Before he could get far, though, he lost his grip and started falling. And he fell until—

 

~~~~

 

Akihiko opened his eyes to find himself safe and sound in his bed. He sat up and held his head before chuckling at his dream. Then he looked towards his alarm clock. 12:01am. He assumed the Dark Hour had just ended. And when he looked out his window, he saw that the rain from the typhoon seemed to be slowing down. Hmm…

 

He jumped out of bed and quickly threw on some warm, yet light clothes. He then quickly and quietly made his way downstairs. He headed for the front door, his hand on the knob before he got stopped.

 

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” the voice said.

 

He turned to see Shinjiro standing at the bottom of the stairwell, his face lit by nothing more than a candle.

 

“I was gonna go for a run,” Akihiko said.

 

“Not in this weather, moron.”

 

“Why not? The storm’s calming down. It’s barely even raining anymore.”

 

“You’re still gonna make yourself sick if you go out there.”

 

“C’mon, I can’t stay locked in this dorm any longer.”

 

“You’ve made it this long; I’m sure you can make it another day or two.” He shook his head at him. “Shit, Aki, stop being so reckless.”

 

He sighed. “Fine…” With that, he took a seat on the couch.

 

“I hope you know I’m not that stupid,” Shinjiro spoke up after a few moments of silence had passed.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“You think I’m gonna go back to bed knowing you’re still down here?”

 

“I’m not gonna sneak out.”

 

“Tell that to your track record.” He then joined the other on the couch, placing the candle on the coffee table. “What are you even doing up?”

 

“Well…” He considered this question. Then he smiled. “Do you remember when we were kids and I fell off the jungle gym at the shrine and landed on my head?”

 

“How could I forget? It’s one of the many examples of when you should’ve listened to me and didn’t.”

 

“You’re one to talk.” He paused. “Did you get scared?”

 

“Huh?” His brow furrowed. “Well…yeah, idiot. I thought you had died.”

 

Now he couldn’t help but chuckle. “We weren’t the brightest kids, were we?”

 

“Tch. We still ain’t.”

 

“Yeah, guess not.” He grinned. “Told you I’d be an Emperor.”

 

Shinjiro rolled his eyes at him. “Shut up. Where’d that even come from?”

 

“That’s why I’m up. I had a dream about it.”

 

“Why the hell did you dream about that?”

 

“I dunno. You’re telling me you never have dreams about the past?”

 

“Why would I?”

 

“Do you ever have…nightmares?”

 

With that, the brunette got back to his feet with nothing more than an annoyed sigh. Of course. Akihiko should’ve known better than to expect an actual answer from him.

 

“I’m going back to bed,” Shinjiro said.

 

Akihiko swallowed hard. He had to ask now before he walked away. He had to ask even though he feared the answer. “You—you’re not still taking them, are you?” he managed to get the words out. Somehow. His head felt like a jumbled mess, much like after he had fallen on it as a kid. And, of course, in typical Shinjiro fashion, he didn’t respond. Instead, he only looked away. That was a clear enough answer, though. “Damn it, Shinji, what the hell? Why?”

 

“What does it matter? Too late to stop now anyway.”

 

“Shut up. You can’t keep taking those pills.”

 

“I refuse to lose control again.”

 

He now jumped to his feet. “Stop being so afraid of yourself.”

 

Shinjiro glanced back at him with that damn scowl on his face, but it quickly dissipated, and then he just looked defeated. Then he shook his head. “Whatever.”

 

It was an invitation. An instigation. And Akihiko willingly accepted it. He stepped away from the couch and practically pounced Shinjiro, knocking him to the floor. He threw a few punches at him before feeling Shinjiro’s knee collide with his stomach. Then, before he could recover from that blow, the brunette’s head smashed against his own. That was what knocked him over. He rolled onto the floor, but the other didn’t come after him. His headbutt was the equivalence to his _whatever_. The final word.

 

For a while, they both just lay on the floor, catching their breath. It reminded Akihiko of the very first time they fought. It wasn’t long after Miki had died. Akihiko was mourning her, still, and Shinjiro was trying to help him get over it. Shinjiro had never been the most considerate person to begin with, though. What he thought was helping, really only made things worse for Akihiko. So finally, he snapped and ended up hitting the brunette. They were both so shocked, neither of them knew how to react. Akihiko only knew it had felt good. So, he ended up hitting the brunette again. That was when Shinjiro fought back. They didn’t stop until they were pulled apart, and then they were separated for a week. Not like they had wanted to see each other anyway. And when they finally did, they only reverted to fighting once more. But after that second incident, they found themselves laughing. They laughed like they had learned the answer to the universe, and it was the simplest thing in the world.

 

Everything had been simpler back then. Now things were just complicated. Half the time, though, it was their own doing.

 

When he finally felt movement beside him, Akihiko came back into himself. He looked to see Shinjiro sitting up. He propped himself up on his elbows. “Do you ever get sick of fighting?” he spoke up.

 

He shrugged his shoulders. “You clearly don’t.”

 

His brow furrowed at his. “Why do you say that?”

 

“You’re the one always starting it.” He got back to his feet. “Can I go to bed now? Or are you not done getting your childhood angst out yet?”

 

“Excuse me?” He scrambled back to his feet as well. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

 

Now he sighed. “I don’t think I can fight you twice in one night, Aki.” He walked over to the coffee table to grab the candle. “Let’s go to bed.” And he made his way up to the second floor.

 

Akihiko didn’t follow him. Shinjiro didn’t come back down, either. But that was okay. It was to be expected. Shinjiro had stopped coming after him once Akihiko threw that very first punch. And if he wasn’t gonna come back, then Akihiko wasn’t gonna stick around. He was gonna go do what he had come downstairs to do in the first place.

 

He went for a run in the eye of the storm.


	4. The Anniversary

When the team gathered in the Command Room that Dark Hour to get ready for their full moon excursion, the first thing Akihiko realised was the lack of Shinjiro’s presence. Of course. How could he not realise something like that? Everywhere he went, Shinjiro was always the first person he spotted. Every crowd he found himself in, he also found himself searching for that head of brown hair. Or the beanie covering it, at least.

 

“Where’s Shinji?” he spoke up.

 

“He just notified me that he’ll meet up with you later,” Fuuka said. “I didn’t ask any questions.”

 

He shook his head. “Figures. He’s always played by his own rules.”

 

“It’s okay,” Junpei said. “At least he’s coming, right?”

 

“Yeah. Not like someone else I know who missed last time,” Yukari said.

 

“Hello? I was tied up, remember? Sheesh, give a guy a break…”

 

“Wait, Ken-kun isn’t here, either.” She paused. “Hey, Junpei, go get him. That’ll be your punishment for last time.”

 

“Punishment? What is this, kindergarten?” He sighed. “That little shit is more trouble than he’s worth.” And he left.

 

“All right, let’s move out,” Mitsuru spoke up. “This time, there are two enemies. We’ll determine our formation once we arrive.”

 

With that, they made their way to Iwatodai Station. The entire way there, Akihiko’s mind was racing. Something was wrong. Sure, Shinjiro wasn’t big into the fight anymore, but he also wasn’t one to bail on a fight. Especially not with the group partly depending on him. And sure, he wasn’t one to keep Akihiko updated on every move he made, but it didn’t make sense to him that the brunette wouldn’t still approach him about missing the fight…

 

Yeah. Something wasn’t adding up.

 

“There they are,” Yukari said once they arrived at the scene. For a moment, Akihiko got his hopes up when his first assumption was that she was referring to Shinjiro and Amada. She wasn’t. “This is the way we go to school,” she then went on. “We’ve gotta protect this place.”

 

Fuuka analysed the Shadows. “It seems like they’ve been waiting for us.”

 

Mitsuru looked around. “Where’s Amada?”

 

“He wasn’t in his room,” Junpei shrugged his shoulders, “so who knows?”

 

“Damn it, Shinji,” Akihiko muttered under his breath. “Where are you?”

 

He didn’t have much time to think once they got caught up in the battle. These Shadows were tough, and it took everything in Akihiko to keep his concentration on the task at hand. Finally, he used his desperation to want to find Shinjiro as momentum in. He shot a bolt of lightning at one of the targets, shocking it into paralysis. And after another couple of hits from Arisato, the group had both Shadows defeated.

 

Now he could freely think about Shinjiro’s whereabouts again. What could have been so important to him that he skipped out on a battle?

 

“Anyway, I’m glad everything went well,” he heard Yukari say as he tuned back into the current conversation. “But what happened to Shinjiro and Ken?”

 

 _What happened to Shinjiro and Ken?_ Shinjiro and Ken. They both missed the battle. That, in itself, was more than a bit concerning. What incentive would they both have to abandon the operation?

 

Then it hit him all at once.

 

“Akihiko, are you listening?” Mitsuru said.

 

“Today is…October fourth, huh?” he spoke up. He shook his head. “Just go back without me. I’m gonna go look for them for a while.” And he took off running.

 

At first, he didn’t think he knew where to start looking. But it was as clear as the moon in the sky. Where else did he have to go except the alley behind Port Island Station? The alley that Shinjiro spent all his time at. The alley that still haunted the brunette to this very day. This fateful day.

 

When he made it there, he found Shinjiro and Ken. He almost hadn’t even noticed Takaya slinking away into the Shadows. That was the least of his concerns. His biggest concern was the fact that Ken was stuck under the weight of the brunette’s body. Akihiko rushed over to them. As he pulled Shinjiro off the kid, the rest of the team arrived on the scene. There were gasps and exclamations, but their voices were growing distant. All his focus was on the body in his arms.

 

“Shinji,” he spoke up.

 

“What’s with the long face?” Shinjiro said to Amada. “Isn’t this what you wanted?” He coughed, blood spurting out of his mouth. “It’s all right. Give yourself time. Make your anger your strength. C’mon, Ken, you’re just a kid. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, so don’t waste it. Make it your own, okay?”

 

Amada stuttered, but didn’t successfully get any words out. Or maybe he did. Akihiko wasn’t paying close enough attention to notice. He could still only focus on the fact that his best friend was bleeding out in his arms. His best friend was dying, and there was nothing he could do about it. Hell, this wasn’t like when they were kids. This wasn’t them being young and stupid. This was the brunette being a stubborn jackass. Except Akihiko wasn’t sure if his stubbornness would help Shinjiro survive this one.

 

“Aki…” He raised his hand. “Take care of him…”

 

For a moment, he felt as paralysed as the Shadow he had attacked earlier. But he fought through the numbness to take hold of his best friend’s hand. “I will,” he said, squeezing his hand.

 

Shinjiro squeezed back. “This is how it should be…”

 

Akihiko kept his grip on the brunette’s hand, even after he stopped squeezing back. He found he couldn’t bring himself to let go. He couldn’t bring himself to move at all.

 

He was thinking about his dream. About when they were kids. About when he had so foolishly fallen off the jungle gym and landed on his head. Shinjiro thought he had snapped his neck. Somehow, though, Akihiko lived through that. Probably his damn stubbornness had brought him back to life. But he had woken up in Shinjiro’s panicked arms and got the shit beaten out of him for it a few days later. So, now it was the other way around. Now Shinjiro would soon wake up in his panicked arms, and in a week or so, Akihiko would beat the shit out of him for scaring him like this. Yeah. That’s exactly how it was gonna happen. Because there was no way in hell Akihiko was leaving that back alley without him. There was no way in hell he was returning to the dorm without him. There was no way in hell…

 

There was no way in hell Shinjiro was coming back.


	5. The Repeat

When Akihiko’s alarm went off that morning, he silenced it. He wasn’t in the mood to go to school. Nor did he have the motivation to get himself out of bed. So, he didn’t bother moving at all. And when there was a knock on his door, he ignored it. But then there was a second knock. And a third.

 

“Akihiko?” Mitsuru said from the other side. “Are you not feeling well?”

 

He almost wanted to scream at her for asking such a _stupid_ question. Shit, he watched his best friend die not even twelve hours ago. Of course, he wasn’t feeling well. And people claimed he was oblivious. Tch.

 

“I’ll bring notes home for you,” she then said when she never got a response. “I’ll see you after classes.”

 

He listened as her footsteps grew softer and softer. Maybe he should’ve screamed at her. Then again, he was sure she was only trying to help. Mitsuru may have been top of the class, but she wasn’t the best when it came to comforting others. And if the roles were reversed, Akihiko knew he’d be no better, either. So, maybe he should just cut her some slack for at least trying.

 

It was nearing twelve o’clock in the afternoon when he finally decided to crawl out of bed. Force himself out of bed. He changed out of his night clothes and made his way to the lounge. It was weird seeing it empty. Sure, it was usually empty, but he had grown so used to Shinjiro being there in the mornings when he woke up. And in the afternoons when he returned from school. Now it was just…empty.

 

Koromaru greeted him once he sniffed out his presence. He seemed to be in good spirits, which Akihiko found surprising, given the circumstances. Huh. Maybe he could tell he was feeling down and wanted to just help him feel better. He was a good dog like that, after all. So, he spent some time sitting at the bottom of the stairwell, just petting the dog that had grown so much to be Shinjiro’s dog. He chuckled sheepishly. Well, Shinjiro had always wanted a dog growing up, so at least he got one thing he wanted.

 

Soon enough, Akihiko found himself growing hungry. He didn’t totally understand how he could have an appetite after what he had experienced, but he figured he was better off not letting himself starve. Because if there was one thing Shinjiro had always made sure of, it was that Akihiko went to bed with a full stomach.

 

After promising Koromaru he’d take him on a walk later, he left the dorm and made his way for Hagakure. It was a long walk to the strip mall, yet it didn’t feel as cold as it had the previous day. Huh. Maybe Akihiko was so numb he just couldn’t tell anymore.

 

When he arrived, he examined the scenery. He reimagined the Shadows they had fought in this spot barely twelve hours ago. If only they had been able to defeat the Shadows a few minutes sooner. If only Akihiko had made his realisation a few minutes sooner. Ugh. There were so many things that could’ve happened differently last night. So many things that could’ve gotten him to Shinjiro sooner. Then maybe he could’ve saved him. Maybe he could’ve stopped Takaya. Maybe—

 

Maybe he had to stop thinking about it. There was no way for him to go back in time and change the outcome, after all. So, what the hell was the point of him trying to come up with a solution now?

 

He took a deep breath and let it out as evenly as he could. Then he made his way into the ramen shop. He ordered his usual beef bowl, and couldn’t help but think how it tasted so much better since he was skipping class. It tasted so much better, despite everything else going on. And once he finished it, he sat for a few extra minutes to savour it. Savour the moment. It could be the last time he would feet at peace with himself for a while.

 

Once he paid, he took his leave. As he exited the restaurant, he bumped into someone as they made their way inside.

 

“Oh, sorry,” he said.

 

“The hell, Aki?” the stranger said back.

 

His breath caught in his throat as he froze on the spot. He knew that voice. He had grown up with that voice. But that voice… No. That voice had said his name for the last time last night.

 

Or so he thought.

 

Slowly, he turned on his heel to face the stranger. Except it wasn’t a stranger at all. It was Shinjiro. In the flesh. Standing before him. Alive and well. Beanie and all. And he must’ve been staring for far too long because the brunette dragged him all the way out of the beef bowl shop before hitting him over the head.

 

“The hell you looking at me like that for?” he said. “And why the hell aren’t you in class? Is this some new way to try to get my attention?”

 

Akihiko was still at a loss for words. How was this happening? How was he here? Last night… That had happened, right? Shit. Had it been some sort of dream? He had no idea what to think anymore. What to believe. Shinjiro was here. He was alive. He had just hit him over the head. With a hand that was warm and not covered in blood.

 

“Shit, Aki, you part of the Lost now or something?” the brunette went on. “What’s gotten into you?”

 

He had reverted to staring at Shinjiro. He wanted to reach out and touch him, too, just to make sure he was real. He knew he couldn’t, though. But, hell, did he want to.

 

“I watched you die…” he finally managed to speak up. Then he froze again. Shit. Of all the stupid things he could’ve said, he had to go and say _that_. Because Shinjiro wasn’t freaked out enough already.

 

The brunette’s eyes widened a bit. “I’m sorry…what?”

 

Now he shook his head. “What day is it?”

 

“You’re kidding, right?”

 

“Just…tell me what day it is.”

 

“It’s the second of September.” He pushed him almost teasingly. “Seriously, Aki, what is your issue? Why aren’t you school right now?”

 

He thought back to what the brunette had asked him earlier. “Uh, y-yeah…it is a new strategy,” he said.

 

“Huh?”

 

“To get your attention,” he went on. “I’m not going back to school until you rejoin the group.”

 

He regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth. Hell, this wasn’t gonna change Shinjiro’s mind. If anything, it was only gonna get his ass beaten harder than ever before.

 

“This is a joke, right?” Shinjiro said. “Because you’ve never been good at jokes.”

 

“And you’ve never been able to take a joke. Just like I’m not taking no for an answer this time.”

 

“Tch.”

 

“C’mon, Shinji, we have new enemies. Other people who are Persona-users.”

 

“Not my problem.” He pushed past him to enter the ramen shop. “Nice try, though. I’ll give you points on the creativity.”

 

Damn it. How did Akihiko convince him last time…? Hold on. Last time? There was no last time. There was this time and—And he didn’t have time to think about that. He had to act fast. He wouldn’t take no for answer.

 

“Ken Amada,” he spoke up.

 

That caught Shinjiro’s attention. “Excuse me?”

 

“Turns out Ken Amada has the potential, and Ikutsuki-san has okayed him to join SEES. So, he’ll be fighting alongside us now.”

 

He almost growled under his breath. “Did he at least join because he wanted to or—?”

 

“He volunteered.”

 

He sucked in a sharp breath. “Damn it.” He then released the breath in a huff of air. “Fine. Count me in.”

 

Akihiko almost couldn’t believe he had pulled it off. Shinjiro would actually be rejoining the group. Wow. He’d have his best friend around again just like old times. Better yet, he’d be fighting with his best friend again. It was incredible. It was exhilarating. It was—

 

It made no sense. Akihiko could’ve sworn he had watched Shinjiro die last night. It was October fourth. The two-year anniversary of when Amada’s mother had been killed. And when he found Shinjiro and Amada… It had been too late when he found them. So, how was it September second now? How was Shinjiro alive again? How was he only just now rejoining the group? How was any of this possible?

 

Either last night had been a very realistic dream, or right now was an even worse realistic dream. Because if right now was a dream, then he was in for a rude awakening.


	6. The Past

After a few days of experiencing some major déjà vu, Akihiko found himself back at the hospital with a silenced suspect and an irate Mitsuru. It was difficult enough keeping his mind on the dead-end interrogation with it whirling around and thinking about almost a million other things. _Did I dream up this entire month? No, I couldn’t have. It’s all just too perfect. Too exact._ It didn’t help when Shinjiro showed up to ask how things were going. Akihiko didn’t understand exactly why the brunette had decided to drop by. He found no purpose in the interrogation, after all.

 

That’s when it happened. Chidori started choking on what seemed like nothing, but was actually her…Persona? Yeah. Her Persona was choking her. Trying to kill her. And while Akihiko, Mitsuru, Iori, and Yamagishi all stood around doing nothing—panicking—it was Shinjiro who jumped into action. In that nonchalant way of his, too.

 

Then it was Akihiko chasing after Shinjiro to figure out what the hell had just happened. It was Akihiko yelling at him. Punching him in the middle of Port Island Station. Calling him out. It was Akihiko who was left alone as the brunette walked away from him. _Damn it, this isn’t fair. I didn’t do anything wrong. I should be the one walking away from you._ Hmm. Feeling that way wasn’t very fair, either, though, was it?

 

He let out a heavy sigh once he finally found it in him to leave that spot. And once he got back to the dorm, he headed straight for his room. The next punches he threw would be at his heavy bag.

 

As his dorm mates knocked on his door throughout the evening, he ignored them. When he was on a high like this, he was best left alone. Until he wasn’t alone. His bedroom door opened late in the evening once someone decided they would let themselves in. _Someone_. Tch. Who was he kidding? The only person who would dare interrupt him at a time like this was Shinjiro. But that didn’t stop him from throwing punches. Nor did the brunette, in that matter. Instead, he took a seat on Akihiko’s bed and just observed.

 

This wasn’t anything new. When Akihiko had first taken up boxing, Shinjiro used to sit and watch him as he practiced. At first, it was just to make fun of him. He would criticise him and pretend he was judging him. Or he would act like a commentator and give a play-by-play as if he were partaking in an actual match. But then it grew into him trying to give pointers to help him improve. Now, though, the brunette just sat in silence. And Akihiko was perfectly okay with that. After all, he still wasn’t in the mood to talk. Better yet, he wasn’t gonna give into Shinjiro’s presence so easily. They weren’t kids anymore, and he wouldn’t break so easily anymore.

 

Finally, he hit the heavy bag with one last combo. His left glove lingered as he took a few deep breaths. Then he dropped his arms back down by his sides. He closed his eyes as he took one last calming breath.

 

“What do you need?” he broke the silence.

 

“Just wanted to let you know we’re going to Tartarus tonight,” Shinjiro said. “Then again, you may be better off passing on the trip.”

 

“I can still go.”

 

“You’re gonna wear yourself out.”

 

“You don’t have to worry about me.”

 

He sighed. “Listen—”

 

“Do you really never think about the past?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“You never think about what we went through as kids?”

 

“Well, I wouldn’t say I _never_ do, but…” He shook his head. “There ain’t nothing left in the past, Aki. It’s done and over with. What point is there in dwelling?”

 

Akihiko considered this as he removed his boxing gloves. Perhaps Shinjiro had a point. Perhaps thinking about the past only proved futile. Not like he could go back and change anything about it. No matter how much he wanted to. At the same time, though, thinking about the past gave him strength. It provided him with his motivation. Thinking about the incident with Miki and—

 

“Do you remember the night before the fire?” Akihiko spoke up. “The last night we had with Miki.”

 

Shinjiro nodded a couple times. “Honestly, it’s still a bit strange to think about it having been our last night with her.”

 

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” He paused. “You remember it, though?”

 

“I remember.”

 

“There had been a meteor shower that night. The three of us snuck out of our rooms and onto the roof of the orphanage so we could watch it.” He smiled, closing his eyes again. “Getting in trouble that night had been more than worth it. I mean, I still remember the look of wonder on Miki’s face. She watched the shower like it was the most magical thing she had ever witnessed.” He reopened his eyes as the smile slipped away. “She was too young. She deserved to experience so much more.”

 

“Don’t tell me you still blame yourself.”

 

“How can I not? I should’ve been able to help her. To save her.”

 

“I think you forget sometimes that you were also just a kid, Aki.”

 

“Tch.” He swallowed hard. “It should’ve been me instead of her.” He punched his heavy bag once more.

 

“C’mon, don’t say that.” He paused. “Miki wouldn’t want you to think that way.”

 

He heard the brunette shift behind him. Soon enough, there was a hand on his shoulder. Contact. This was a first. Hell, Akihiko couldn’t even _begin_ to remember the last time they had any sort of physical contact that didn’t end with some sort of scar.

 

“Is this how you feel?” Akihiko spoke up, his voice low. Soft. “About Amada’s mother, I mean?”

 

“What? That it should’ve been me instead?” He shrugged his shoulders. “I dunno. I guess you could say that.”

 

He nodded. “Then don’t be a hypocrite.”

 

At this, Shinjiro clenched his jaw and pulled away from him. “Tch. You’re a real piece of shit.”

 

Only when he heard his bedroom door get slammed shut behind him did Akihiko finally turn around. Huh. That probably wasn’t his smartest move, but it was in the past now. It was done and over with. Just like the meteor shower from so long ago. And the fire. And Shinjiro’s accident.

 

So what point was there in dwelling?


	7. The Nightmare

It was late. Almost three o’clock in the morning late. But with an empty bed on the other side of the room and voices drifting from down the hall, he couldn’t help but sneak out of the room so he could hear better. So, he crept down the hallway, remaining in the cover of the shadows.

 

“What’d you say the kid’s name was?” a man said.

 

“Shinjiro Aragaki,” he heard the Caretaker say.

 

“And how long has he been gone?”

 

“I’d say he’s been missing since about four o’clock in the evening.”

 

“And he’s the only child gone?”

 

“Yes, Officer. There’s one child who he spends all his time with, but I’m positive he’s still here. That’s almost surprising, though, since the two are nearly inseparable.”

 

“Let’s focus on the one who’s actually missing, then.”

 

Akihiko was finding it hard to breathe. Shinjiro was missing. This couldn’t be happening. Not so soon after losing Miki. It had to be some sort of cruel joke. But then the sound of static got his attention again.

 

“What’s that?” the Caretaker said.

 

“My radio.” The Officer pulled out his walkie. “Talk to me.”

 

“Sir, we need backup down here by the bridge,” the voice on the other end said. “There’s been an accident. A young boy has been hit by a car.”

 

“A young boy? Could you describe him?”

 

“Maybe about ten years old. Brown hair. Can’t decipher the eye colour at this time. He’s been knocked unconscious, and there’s a good chance he may not pull through. Trying to figure out if he has any family.”

 

“That sounds like—”

 

The Caretaker stopped speaking when she heard a crash. A crash caused by Akihiko. He had bumped into a small table displaying a vase. He couldn’t believe it. A young boy had been hit by a car. A young boy with brown hair… He squeezed his eyes shut and he took his head in his hands. He squeezed his eyes shut until—

 

~~~~

 

He was shaking. Or…someone was shaking him. Akihiko opened his eyes to see Shinjiro leaning over him. He practically jumped out of his bed at the sight of him.

 

“The hell are you doing?” he said. He checked his alarm clock. 12:26am.

 

“What am I doing?” Shinjiro said. “Tch. You’re the one who was kicking the wall.”

 

He sat up, his head falling into his hands. “Sorry. Bad dream.”

 

“Hmph.”

 

That was Shinjiro’s way of asking if Akihiko wanted to talk about it. He’d never ask flat out because that was _too sentimental_. For now, though, Akihiko was willing to accept the wordless question. If only because he did want to talk about it.

 

“It was about the night you had gone missing from the orphanage,” he spoke up.

 

“Gotta be more specific than that,” the brunette said.

 

He couldn’t help but chuckle at that. But then he swallowed hard. “The night there had also been the accident with the kid who got hit and killed by the car.”

 

“Oh yeah.” He thought for a moment. “It turned into such a big thing that the Caretaker had to go to the hospital to identify the body.”

 

“Yeah, after you had already returned to the orphanage.”

 

Now he shrugged his shoulders. “At least we made her believe I had been there the entire time.”

 

“Probably after traumatising her.”

 

“Not my fault she couldn’t keep track of all the frigging kids she took in. Though, I still can’t believe you thought I was dead.”

 

“You weren’t home and the description fit you perfectly.”

 

“C’mon, the description was a young boy with brown hair. That could’ve been half the kids in Japan, moron.”

 

“I repeat, you were missing.”

 

Shinjiro shook his head at him. “You worry too much.”

 

 _You don’t worry enough. Yet, you’re far from being carefree._ Akihiko scratched the back of his head before jumping to his feet. He was wide awake now. His mind racing. So, he started changing.

 

“The hell you think you’re doing?” the brunette spoke up.

 

“Gotta clear my head.”

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“It means I’m going for a run.”

 

“You ain’t going anywhere, moron. We’re still in the middle of a typhoon.”

 

He looked out his window. “It’s barely raining out there.”

 

“That don’t mean shit. You can’t go for a run in this weather. You’ll make yourself sick. And if you get sick then you can’t go to Tartarus.”

 

“Tch. I’ll be fine.” He made his way for the door, but his path got blocked by the brunette. “Get out of my way.” That was stupid. Shinjiro was just as stubborn, so there was no way he’d back down so easily. Akihiko sighed. “Please. It’s just rain. I’m not gonna get blown away.”

 

“That’s not the point.”

 

“That’s the exact argument you made.”

 

“Tch. It’s nearly one o’clock in the morning, Aki. There are some shady people out there at this hour.”

 

“Like your dealers?”

 

His expression hardened at this. “Whatever. Screw this.” And he left.

 

 _Damn it._ Just another example of Akihiko not knowing when to keep his mouth shut. He was never good with words, but he was even worse at thinking before speaking.

 

He finished getting ready and left his room. He made it to the stairs before stopping and turning around. Except, he didn’t go back to his room; he stepped up to Shinjiro’s room. He raised his hand to knock on the door, but didn’t go through with the motion. When they were kids at the orphanage, they didn’t have the luxury of hiding themselves from each other behind closed doors. After all, they shared a room back then. So, whenever one was mad at the other, it was a race to see who would get to the lock the other out of the room temporarily. By the end of the day, though, they were always forced to let the other back in. Now they had separate rooms, though. Now there was no one there to force Shinjiro to let Akihiko in. He could knock on the door as hard and as much as he wanted to, but he knew it would stay shut.

 

So, he stepped away from the door and headed downstairs to go for a run in the remnants of the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!! Hope y'all have a fantastic 2018 :3


	8. The Extra

The Dark Hour had just ended. The group was making their way back to the dorm from Tartarus. They were trying to be as discreet as they could be for a small group of underage kids, considering it was midnight. Iori was being far too disruptive, though. Too worked up and energised. So much so that Mitsuru had to…silence him.

 

They were at Port Island Station waiting for the tram when Akihiko noticed the distance Shinjiro had put between himself and the rest of the group. He glanced towards the others—distracted by their phones and surroundings—before making his way over to the brunette.

 

“Yo,” he said. Shinjiro looked him up and down before digging his hands deeper into his pockets and hunching his shoulders. “Uhm…” Akihiko cleared his throat. “You got some really good hits in tonight. A lot of our wins were thanks to you.” He smiled sheepishly. “You’re a natural with that axe, Shinji. I mean, it’s almost like you never even left.”

 

“You’re trying way too hard,” he finally spoke up.

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“Things ain’t how they used to be.”

 

“Yeah, I get that.”

 

“Then don’t praise me like I enjoy this.”

 

He sighed. “C’mon, don’t be like that…”

 

“How do you want me to be, then? You want me to just forget everything that happened? You want me to pretend it never did happen? Is that what you want?”

 

“Is that too much to ask?”

 

“Tch. You’re an idiot.”

 

“First of all, you won’t even give yourself the chance to forget. You’ve spent the last two years in that back alley, after all. What would you expect? Of course you’re still gonna be haunted by it.”

 

“That alley wasn’t my reminder of the incident; it was my reminder not to fight. Yet, here I am. Thanks to you.”

 

“Yeah. Why can’t you be more like me?”

 

“Because I ain’t you, Aki.”

 

“Not like it’s very complicated, though. Don’t let the incident drag you down. Use it to gather your strength. Your motivation. All the anger you feel—”

 

“Shit. Would you shut up already?” He shook his head. “Maybe it’s easy for you because you’re not the reason Miki died. No matter how much you want to blame yourself, it still wasn’t your fault. You didn’t cause the fire. You didn’t leave her in the orphanage. And of course they weren’t gonna let you go back inside for her, because then you would’ve died, too. As for me… Tch. No matter which way you swing it, it was my fault through and through.”

 

“You were new to your powers, and you lost control of it. You can’t put all the blame on yourself.”

 

“She still died because of me.” He looked towards the others. “Amada still lost his mother because of me. So, I’m sorry I can’t be like you and just move on.”

 

“Senpai, the tram’s here,” Iori then said to them.

 

Akihiko turned to see the others had already boarded, excluding Iori and Mitsuru. As he looked, though, Iori followed the others. He focused back on the brunette only to find him taking off in the opposite direction. _Shit._ He turned back to Mitsuru, still waiting for him.

 

“I have to go after him,” he said.

 

She nodded. “I understand.” And she boarded the tram.

 

Akihiko took a deep breath before following after Shinjiro. Once he caught up to him, he was already halfway back to the school.

 

“The hell do you want?” Shinjiro said.

 

“I’m not going back to the dorm without you,” Akihiko said.

 

He had that scowl on his face. Huh. Akihiko was beginning to almost _enjoy_ that scowl. It looked good on the brunette. “Stop being such an idiot. Go home. You have school in the morning.”

 

“That’s a shame. Because I’m not going back without you.”

 

That was when Shinjiro grabbed hold of him by the collar of his shirt. Next thing Akihiko knew, his forehead had collided with the other’s. He stumbled backwards, rubbing his head, while the brunette stood his ground, hands in his pockets as if he hadn’t moved at all.

 

“I ain’t in the mood for a lecture,” Shinjiro spoke up. “I also don’t wanna keep repeating myself.”

 

“Headbutt me as many times as you want. It’s not gonna make me go home.”

 

“Tch.” And he started walking away again.

 

“Shinji—”

 

The brunette put a hand out to stop him, shoving him back at the same time. Having been caught off guard, Akihiko fell, landing flat on his ass. He looked up at Shinjiro, who had his hands back in his pockets and was looking down and away from Akihiko.

 

“Screw off already,” Shinjiro said.

 

Akihiko didn’t move. He didn’t even get back to his feet. Instead, he lay back and stared at the dark sky. There were too many city lights to make out any stars, but that was okay. The point wasn’t to see the stars. The point was to lie there. So, that’s what he did. He lay in silence, surrounded by the night.

 

Soon enough, he felt the presence of another body lay down beside him. He turned his head to see Shinjiro. Huh. Akihiko figured the brunette had long since walked away from him. Guess he was wrong.

 

“I don’t know why I still put up with you,” Shinjiro spoke up.

 

“I do,” Akihiko said. “You’re all I have left.”

 

No other words were exchanged. Neither of them had anything else they wanted to say. So, they continued to lay there. Akihiko was perfectly content with that, though. He didn’t have to be at the dorm with Shinjiro to feel safe. He just simply had to be with him. It didn’t matter, so long as he knew he was alive.


	9. The Second

Back when Akihiko and Shinjiro were in middle school, they had a tradition. They always met up after school and went to Hagakure for a late lunch. Always. No matter what. Rain or shine. They wouldn’t have dared to miss out on a beef bowl. One time, though, Shinjiro hadn’t shown up. Akihiko had waited outside the restaurant for nearly an hour, and there had been no sign of the brunette. So, he started retracing his steps. He headed back to the school, thinking maybe Shinjiro had gotten held up there or something. What else could it have been? Then when he made it to Port Island Station, he noticed a crowd of people. He fought their way through the strangers to find that they had been gathered around Shinjiro. He had gotten mugged by a few punks and was half unconscious. It was the one day they missed their tradition, and it was only because Shinjiro had gotten hurt. After all, he wasn’t one to skip out on something without a damn good reason.

 

So, when the brunette didn’t show up for the full moon operation, Akihiko couldn’t help but feel something was very wrong. It didn’t help that the kid was missing, too. It also didn’t help that he was supposed to be focused on the two Shadows in front of him, but could only think about the possible whereabouts of his best friend. But, damn it, he had to get past these Shadows first. He couldn’t just up and leave the rest of the group to fend for themselves. Even if they could handle the battle, he wouldn’t do that to them.

 

It was only when the Shadows had finally been eliminated that Akihiko allowed himself to concentrate fully on his best friend. His mind played through every possible scenario. He thought back on previous conversations. He thought about the timing and—

 

“October fourth,” he spoke up. “Mitsuru, today is October fourth.”

 

Mitsuru’s eyes widened. “No, it can’t be…” She shook her head. “I can’t believe—I had completely forgotten.”

 

“Yamagishi, try to locate Shinji’s and Amada’s positions,” Akihiko said. There was a sense of urgency in his voice, yet it almost didn’t feel strong enough.

 

Fuuka still seemed a bit alarmed. “What? Very well.”

 

“Uhm, did something happen between those two?” Yukari spoke up.

 

Akihiko glanced towards Mitsuru to find that she was already looking his way, a somber expression on her face. When he turned his head away, she focused her attention back on the others. “It was two years ago,” she then began, “on a night when we’d gone to take down a Shadow in the city. At the time, Aragaki had just acquired his Persona, and he suddenly lost control of his powers.”

 

“Lost control?” Yukari said.

 

“Unfortunately, there was just one casualty that night.”

 

“And that was…” Akihiko squeezed his eyes shut, “Amada’s mother.”

 

Junpei’s eyes widened. “No way…”

 

“I’m getting a reading,” Fuuka spoke up. Akihiko’s eyes shot back open as he focused on her. “Those two are together. The location is…the alley behind Port Island Station.”

 

With that, Akihiko took off running. He didn’t need any other information. And he didn’t need Mitsuru calling after him like she was. All he needed was to get to the brunette. He needed to get to him before—Before what? Why did this all seem so familiar? Like it was another case of déjà vu. Like he had been through this all before. Why was he fearing for Shinjiro’s life?

 

The sound of gunshots filled the air. For a moment, Akihiko froze. He shook his head and kept on running, though. He ran until he reached the alley. Hell, he hadn’t even realised the rest of the group wasn’t far behind him.

 

“Shinji,” he said once he made it.

 

“What a buzzkill,” Takaya said before disappearing into the darkness.

 

Akihiko wanted to go after him. To stop him. To attack him. To fight him with all he had left. He couldn’t, though. His best friend was bleeding out, and—and this was where he needed to be. On his knees with the brunette in his arms.

 

“Stay with us, Shinji,” he said. _Stay with me. I’m not done fighting with you yet._ “Shinji…” It felt like that was all he could say.

 

“Let’s treat those wounds right away,” Mitsuru spoke up.

 

Shinjiro’s eyes fluttered open and he looked back at the kid. “What’s that look on your face? You just got your wish, for god’s sake.” He coughed, spitting up blood at the same time.

 

Exclamations from the others were being made all around Akihiko. His focus was on the brunette, though. He was trying to come up with some way he could help him. A way he could stop the bleeding. Anything at all. He couldn’t move, though. He was too afraid to let go of him. Letting go would mean—

 

“These wounds are too deep,” Mitsuru said. “We can’t do anything until the Dark Hour ends.”

 

“You don’t have to…get rid of your hate right away,” Shinjiro went on, still speaking to Amada. “Just turn it into power. Remember, you’re still just a kid. For what lies ahead of you… Live.”

 

Amada was trembling. “No way… I…”

 

“Aki…” he said, finally looked towards him. “Take care of him.”

 

“R-right.” That was the only word Akihiko could bring himself to say. It was as if he had forgotten all his other Japanese.

 

Shinjiro closed his eyes. “This is how it should be.”

 

Akihiko lost all mobility. He sat there with Shinjiro in his arms, waiting for him to open his eyes again. Waiting… Waiting… It was hopeless, though. And it took everything in him not to pull the brunette closer to him. To hold him against his chest. To wish him back to life. Wish…

 

He looked up towards the green sky. All he needed was a star. A meteor he could wish upon. But there was nothing. Just a moon too large for the sky. He kept his gaze turned upward, though. He couldn’t bring himself to look back down at Shinjiro. Nor could he bring himself to look at Amada. The kid who was practically throwing a tantrum. Who was crying and screaming and punching the ground. Who was covered in just as much blood as Akihiko was now.

 

Akihiko had been fearing for Shinjiro’s life. This was why. This familiarity would haunt him for the rest of the night. As would the vacant bedroom next to his.


	10. The Realisation

Akihiko awoke with a start when his alarm went off that morning. He didn’t move until his alarm stopped buzzing. Then he slowly sat up. There was a pounding in his head and a ringing in his ears. He squeezed his eyes shut, applying pressure to them using the heels of his palms. And for a while, he just sat and listened to the hustle and bustle of the others getting ready out in the hall. Murmurs of soft conversations. Quiet snickering. Koromaru barking. Amada trying to calm him down. It sounded like a normal morning. So far, none of the others seemed somber or to be grieving or anything.

 

Then there was a knock on his door. “Hey, Senpai, you up yet?” Iori said from the other side.

 

Akihiko opened his eyes and just stared at the door. He couldn’t bring himself to respond. He could already feel his voice cracking. Breaking. He swallowed hard before reaching for his phone. He brought the screen to life, holding his breath. And when he took note of the date, he almost threw his phone across the room.

 

September 2nd.

 

“Senpai?” Iori said again.

 

He cleared his throat. “I-I’m up. Sorry.”

 

“Oh. Okay. Just making sure.”

 

He listened as Iori’s footsteps disappeared down the hall. Then he looked at the date on his phone again. It was definitely displaying as September 2nd, but… No. How was that possible? How could this be happening again? Again. That’s right. It was happening again. He had already been through this before. Akihiko had now watched his best friend die twice, yet—

 

Shinjiro. If it was September 2nd again, then that meant Shinjiro had yet to rejoin the group. So, that meant Akihiko would have to track him down and make him join again. Again. Because he had already been through this twice. There was no doubt in his mind. This wasn’t some messed up dream. He was reliving the month of September over and over and over—But…why? Why was this happening? And how? It just—It didn’t make any sense.

 

Another knock on his door. “Akihiko?” Mitsuru’s voice carried over this time. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to rush you, but if you don’t start getting ready now, then at this rate you’re going to be late.”

 

He hopped out of bed and started changing into his uniform. “S-sorry,” he said. “I’m almost ready.” He swiftly finished preparing for the day ahead of him and opened his door to find Mitsuru still standing there. “What’s up?”

 

“Are you feeling okay?” she said.

 

“What? Yeah. I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

 

“Well, usually you’re up and ready before any of the rest of us. It’s quite unlike you to be running off schedule.”

 

He shook his head, forcing himself to laugh it off. “No, I’m—I just had trouble sleeping last night, is all.”

 

She nodded her head, though she didn’t seem convinced. “I see. Very well, then.” And she walked away.

 

Akihiko let out a heavy sigh, dropping his head into his hand. It was gonna be a long day. Better yet, he’d have to come up with another way to reconvince Shinjiro to rejoin the group again by the end of it. Hmm. He wondered if Shinjiro was going through the same thing. If he remembered, as well. He’d probably write it off as some weird dream. This was real, though. It was real, and Akihiko was going to figure it out.

 

So, he spent the school day allowing himself to be distracted by the situation. He thought about the first September he recalled. He convinced Shinjiro to rejoin the group, and that same night they had an argument. About a week later he found out that the brunette was taking drugs to suppress his Persona. That didn’t end well, either. Just another argument. About another week later was the typhoon, which resulted in yet another argument, plus a few punches. Ugh. It was like all they did that month was fight.

 

He started thinking about the second September. The September that had just passed. It started off shaky, seeing as he thought Shinjiro was dead. Bumping into him at Hagakure that afternoon really threw him through a loop. Yet, he still managed to convince him—again—to rejoin the group. Then there was the incident with the pills again, which he wasn’t sure he handled any better than the first time. Then the typhoon… That hadn’t been as bad as it could’ve been. And there was that night after the group’s trip to Tartarus. He and the brunette had argued that night, too, but then somehow ended up lying on the ground in silence.

 

Hell, they sure did fight a lot. Akihiko knew that, but thinking back on it now… Maybe that was the issue. Maybe he had to find a way to get through to Shinjiro. But…get what through to him?

 

This was proving to be a lot more complicated than he had anticipated.

 

As soon as the bell rang, Akihiko wasted no time. He gathered his belongings and rushed out of the school, not stopping for anyone. He reached Port Island Station just in time to catch the tram. Then he found himself at the strip mall.

 

Take three.

 

He took a deep breath before walking into Hagakure. Shinjiro was there, of course, sitting at the bar. And after a moment’s hesitation, he took the seat beside him. There would be no backing down from this.

 

“I want you to come back,” he said.

 

“No shit,” Shinjiro said. “You’ve been telling me that for two years.”

 

“Yeah. And every time I’ve told you, I’ve asked you. So, I’m not gonna ask you this time.” He swallowed hard. “Now I’m telling you.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“You’re coming back, Shinji.”

 

“Tch.” He shook his head, pulling money out of his pocket and leaving it on the counter before taking off. Akihiko took off right after him. “Who the hell do you think you are?” the brunette said once they were both out of the restaurant. “What makes you think you can come here and just tell me I have to rejoin.”

 

“The situation has changed for the worse. So, based on the group’s needs, it’s no longer a request.”

 

Shinjiro shook his head at him. “You’re…” he clenched his jaw, “… _something_ , Aki. A real piece of work.” And he walked away.

 

Akihiko continued to follow him. “C’mon, we have more members now.” He got in front of him to stop him. “Plus, we have new enemies. Enemies who are also Persona-users.”

 

“Whatever. Ain’t my problem.”

 

His hands clenched into fists at the sound of that word. He wasn’t gonna let it get to him this time, though. So, he shook it out of his system and went after the brunette again. Got in front of him again. “Ken Amada,” he said. Shinjiro narrowed his eyes. “Ikutsuki-san has allowed Amada to join the group.”

 

“He what?”

 

He shrugged his shoulders, trying to act as nonchalant as the other would during a tense situation like this. “The kid has the Potential, so he’s fighting with us now.”

 

“This is ridiculous…” Shinjiro sighed. “My room still open?”

 

Now Akihiko held back the grin. “Y-yeah. Yeah, it is.”

 

He nodded. “Can’t believe I’m actually gonna do this.” And he started to walk away once more.

 

“Wait, does that mean—?”

 

“Yeah. Whatever.”

 

As the brunette walked away, Akihiko couldn’t help but smile wide. He had somehow convinced Shinjiro yet again to rejoin the group. So far so good. Now he just had to make it through the rest of the month. He had to try to make it through, but try to make things different… Different how, though? How was he supposed to know what had been done wrong before?

 

For starters, Akihiko figured he could as least try to tone down the fighting. But with how things were between him and Shinjiro, he wasn’t sure how simple that would be.


	11. The Rage

Over the course of the next few days, Akihiko tried to act as if everything was normal. As if he didn’t know exactly what to expect when it came to full moon operation that month. As if he didn’t know about Chidori. Or how hopeless interrogating her would be. Or that her Persona was going to try to kill her. Or that Shinjiro would be the one to stop it from happening.

 

That was when his control fell apart, though. Akihiko knew about the drugs, yet he still couldn’t bring himself to not freak out over it. Because he still couldn’t understand why Shinjiro ever felt the need to turn to drugs. So, he still followed him to Port Island Station. And he still called him out. And he still punched him. Because… _damn it._

 

Things weren’t supposed to be this way.

 

“Don’t you get it,” Akihiko said. “You know the reason…”

 

And he was off again. Talking about Miki and the fire and how he couldn’t save her. He was so sick of reminding, not only Shinjiro, but also himself of that damn story. Of that stupid promise they had made that they’d fight to become strong enough to do what they believed to be right. They were only kids. How would they have known what was right and what wasn’t? Back then, whatever was simple was right and whatever was difficult was wrong. That’s how they saw it. That’s not how the world works, though. And maybe it took them too long to figure that out.

 

“Why didn’t you come talk to me?” he finally finished.

 

“I’m back in the fight now,” Shinjiro said. “So, let it go.”

 

No. That wasn’t good enough. They had been through far too much together by this point for him to just _let it go._ “And the side effects?”

 

“There’s something I need to take care of. It’s something only I can do.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Listen, don’t worry about me. Just do what you think is right.”

 

With that, Shinjiro started to walk away. _I’m trying. That’s exactly what I’m doing, but you’re ignoring me. Disregarding me._ Akihiko’s hands clenched into fists, but he didn’t move.

 

“Tch. And you call me an idiot,” he spoke up.

 

The brunette froze before turning on his heel. “What?”

 

“You think you can do whatever the hell you want,” he went on. “That it won’t matter to the people around you. The people who care about you. But you couldn’t be more wrong. You couldn’t be more selfish. And that makes you an idiot.”

 

“Tch. You’re the one who preaches what’s good and what’s bad, yet you’ve never even experienced bad.” He shook his head. “Every bad thing that happens to the people you surround yourself with… Somehow you find a way to make it about yourself. To make it about you getting stronger. Trust me, Aki, you lost your motivation a long time ago. You lost your reason to fight the moment I left the group.”

 

That was when Akihiko closed the distance between the two of them, grabbing Shinjiro by the lapels of his coat. He wanted to punch him again, but he somehow managed to at least keep that much control. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said. “After you left, I kept fighting to prove—”

 

“To prove to me that it was possible to keep going after an accident like that? I wouldn’t expect you to understand. But you could at least accept the fact that you aren’t fighting for Miki anymore.”

 

Now he clenched his jaw. “You…” His grip on the brunette’s coat tightened. “You son of a bitch…”

 

“If you’re gonna hit me again, just get it over with.”

 

Akihiko was trembling all over. He did want to hit Shinjiro again, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. What was that gonna solve? Who was it gonna help? Sure, it’d help him feel better now. In a few hours, though, he’d just feel guilty. He always felt guilty.

 

“Well?” Shinjiro spoke up. With that, Akihiko only shoved him away. Shinjiro stumbled back, but wasn’t knocked off his feet. He scoffed at the other. “Whatever.”

 

At the sound of that word, Akihiko took off running in the opposite direction. He made sure not to look back, too, not wanting to catch a glimpse of the brunette walking away from him at the same time.

 

As kids, Akihiko and Shinjiro made a lot of promises. Stupid promises. Ones that seemed so significant at the time they were made. They made a promise that they’d never replace the other with someone else. They made a promise that they’d never let a girl get between them. Ten years later and that particular one still wasn’t even relevant. But they also made a promise that they would always stick together. That, no matter what, they would never abandon each other or leave the other behind. Through thick and thin, they would remain a part of each other’s lives.

 

Of all the promises they ever made, Akihiko would never break that one. Hell, he’d turn in his boxing gloves before even thinking about breaking it.

 

As Akihiko ran around the city, he lost track of the time. He didn’t realise how long he had been out until the light in the sky began to disappear. So, he made his way back to Port Island Station, only to find Shinjiro waiting for the tram as well. He let out a heavy sigh before taking a seat on the bench next to him.

 

“You’re still out?” Shinjiro said.

 

“Yeah,” Akihiko said.

 

“Any messages from Kirijo? I bet she’s concerned that you haven’t returned to the dorm yet.”

 

“Dunno. Phone died hours ago.” He paused. “Not that she’s my caretaker and needs to know where I am or what I’m up to.”

 

“Well, maybe she should be. At least she’d be able to keep you out of trouble.”

 

“Same goes for you.”

 

“No shit. Last thing I need is one of her executions.”

 

He chuckled at this. “Gotta agree with you there.”

 

And that was all that was said. They then fell silent as they waited for the tram. And once it arrived, they remained silent. But they sat together, and they walked back to the dorm together.

 

When they arrived, Arisato let them know that the group would be going to Tartarus that night. They both nodded an _okay_ and headed up to their respective rooms. When Akihiko reached his door, he stopped. He watched the brunette as he opened his door and entered his room. He wanted to speak up; to say anything. But he feared that whatever he would say would only turn into another argument. And he didn’t need another argument. He couldn’t handle another argument. So, he went into his room and rested until he got the call that they were ready to go to Tartarus.


	12. The Present

A few days later, Akihiko came across Shinjiro as he was heading into Hagakure. For a moment, they both stopped and looked at each other. Then the brunette gestured his head towards the restaurant. It was a silent invitation for Akihiko to join him, and Akihiko was more than willing to accept.

 

They sat in their usual spots and ordered their usual specials. Then they continued to sit in silence. And once their food was served, they ate in silence. Akihiko wondered if this was what he would have to get used to. Just him and Shinjiro never speaking, unless they wanted to argue.

 

“Remember when we ate here every single day together in middle school?” Akihiko said, unable to take the quiet any longer.

 

“Yeah, back when you ate real food and not just that protein shit,” Shinjiro said.

 

“Things were…simpler back then, huh?”

 

He shrugged his shoulders. “I guess. Simple as things could be for two orphans.”

 

“Y’know, I used to think that was all I’d ever see myself as. An orphan.”

 

“Yeah? And what do you see yourself as now?”

 

He held back the smile at the brunette’s inquiry. It was rare for him to ask a question like that. A prompting question. “I see myself as a Persona-user.”

 

“All right. So, what happens when the group gets rid of the Dark Hour and you can no longer summon your Persona? Then how will you see yourself?”

 

“Hmm.” He supposed he hadn’t considered this before. He hadn’t thought that far ahead. “I’m not sure yet.” Now he smiled. “Guess I’ll figure it out along the way.”

 

“How is it you’ve changed so much without changing at all?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“You’re still a reckless idiot, but you take responsibility for it.”

 

“Pretty sure that’s called maturity.”

 

“Tch. Please. You’re far from mature. I don’t care what the others think of you; I know you better than they do. If you acted with them the way you act with me, then they would see the truth.”

 

He couldn’t help but laugh at this. “I guess that’s just what happens when you grow up with someone.”

 

He shook his head, rolling his eyes at him. “Let’s get out of here.”

 

So, they paid their separate bills and left the restaurant. Shinjiro started walking in what seemed to be an aimless direction, but that didn’t stop Akihiko from following him. There was more he wanted to talk about, but he wasn’t sure how to bring it up.

 

He stared at the brunette as they walked. Observed him. He was at least a couple inches taller than him. Probably would be even more so if he actually stood up straight rather than hunched over. Then he noticed that he was…shivering. Even with the coat and the beanie, he was still cold. Akihiko knew that wasn’t normal. He remembered nights when the power at the orphanage would go out in the middle of winter. During those nights, he and Shinjiro would share a bed for warmth. And Shinjiro had definitely provided a lot of warmth those nights. So, him being cold now definitely wasn’t normal. Especially since it was only halfway through September.

 

“Is that another side effect?” Akihiko spoke up.

 

“What?” Shinjiro said.

 

“You’re always cold. Even in the midst of the heat wave this past summer, you kept that coat on.” He swallowed hard. “Is it because of the pills?”

 

“Shit, Aki, if you’re gonna lecture me, then—”

 

“I’m not. It’s just a question.” The brunette rolled his shoulders, but Akihiko could tell it was a cover for him to shiver again. “Does it hurt?”

 

He paused. “Sometimes. Not always.”

 

“Why did you start taking them, Shinji?”

 

Now he sighed. “I was afraid of losing control again. And I hadn’t been planning on ever using my Persona again, so I didn’t think it would matter.”

 

Lose control. Hmm. Shinjiro never had very good control of his actions from the get-go. Even before they awakened to their Personas. He either put too much force in, or barely enough momentum. He almost broke Akihiko’s nose once from swinging too hard. The Caretaker hadn’t been too happy about the situation, but for whatever reason, Akihiko hadn’t been able to stop laughing. Maybe it had been the look of utter shock on Shinjiro’s face after he had hit him. Or maybe it had been the fact that it took nearly five hours for his nose to stop bleeding.

 

Now that he thought about it, Shinjiro never did apologise for that incident. Not that that mattered. Akihiko would forgive him for every bloody nose.

 

“What are you fighting for?” he spoke up.

 

Shinjiro raised an eyebrow at him. “What?”

 

“What is it that you’re fighting for? I know you didn’t rejoin the team just because I told you to. So, what’s your reason?”

 

“What has gotten into you, Aki? Where is this coming from?”

 

“I’ve been thinking since you told me I lost my motivation. So, I want to know what your reason for fighting is.”

 

“Hmm.” He thought for a moment. “I didn’t rejoin the group to fight against Shadows or Strega. I rejoined so I could keep an eye on Amada. Keep him out of trouble.”

 

“Ironic, since that’s the reason I wanted you to rejoin in the first place. I mean, so I could keep an eye on you and keep you out of trouble.”

 

“Tch. I don’t need you watching over me.”

 

“Doesn’t mean I won’t.”

 

“Either way, there’s my reason. I ain’t gonna let anything happen to that kid. I still can’t believe the Chairman even let a kid join. Potential or not, he doesn’t need to be fighting this war.”

 

“Like I said, the kid volunteered.”

 

“Don’t matter.”

 

“Maybe he’s fighting for his mother.”

 

He grunted at this. “Maybe. Doesn’t make it any better. If anything happened to him…” He shook his head. “He has his whole life to screw around and mess shit up. Why does he seem so eager to grow up?”

 

“Reminds me a little bit of us when we were his age.”

 

“You’re kidding, right? Kid’s got way more sense now than you and I ever had.”

 

He chuckled. “Guess I can’t argue with that.”

 

“Well, would you look at that?” Shinjiro then said as they both came to a standstill. “We made it all the way back to the dorm without a single punch being thrown.” That being said, Akihiko punched him lightly on the shoulder. “The hell was that for?”

 

He continued laughing. “C’mon, you gotta admit, it doesn’t feel right, otherwise.” And so Shinjiro locked an arm around his neck, pulling him into his chest. “Shinji—”

 

“I don’t know why I still put up with you,” he said. He spoke the words right in Akihiko’s ear, and the feel of his warm breath sent a shiver down his spine. He pushed the brunette away from him, almost out of panic. Shinjiro only chuckled at him. “Moron.” With that, he made his way inside the dorm.

 

Akihiko stayed outside, catching his breath. _I don’t know why I still put up with you_. Shinjiro had said that to him already. Maybe not during this month, but he definitely remembered hearing those words before. So, maybe that meant he was doing something right. Maybe that meant things would turn out differently.

 

Or maybe it meant he was still following the same forsaken path.


	13. The Fight

It was quiet in the dorm. That was normal. There were only two people living in it, after all. Him and the Kirijo girl. And she hadn’t returned yet, so he was alone. Alone with his thoughts and his Evoker.

 

He had acquired his Persona almost three months ago now. Polydeuces. Hell, he was still getting used to it. The feel of the Dark Hour. The pull of the trigger. The rush of electricity through his veins. It was the most incredible feeling in the world. And the only person he could talk to about it was Mitsuru Kirijo. No one else. Not even his best friend. And it was so strange not being able to share such of prominent part of himself. But now he had a way to make sure he could always protect his best friend. A reason to fight and become stronger.

 

He picked up his Evoker and held it to his head. He knew it wouldn’t work now, but that didn’t stop the adrenaline rush. _Accept the fact that you are mortal._ He did accept that fact. But that wouldn’t keep him from living. If he ever had to face death, he would face it head-on. No backing down.

 

Just then, the front door opened. He placed his Evoker on the coffee table and stood up as Mitsuru entered the dorm. Except…she wasn’t alone.

 

“Shinji?” he said.

 

“Good afternoon, Akihiko,” Mitsuru said. She then smiled. “I believe you already know our newest member.”

 

Akihiko’s eyes widened. “Seriously? You’re a Persona-user, too?”

 

Shinjiro only shrugged his shoulders. “Guess so. Something about having the potential or…whatever.”

 

Typical. Always so nonchalant. As for Akihiko, though, he couldn’t contain his eagerness. “This is incredible. Now we can fight alongside each other.”

 

“Like a dream come true,” he said.

 

Akihiko knew he didn’t mean it. But that didn’t deter him from being so excited. Hell, he felt like a little kid again. Him and Shinjiro. Persona-users. Another secret for them to share. Another promise for them to make. Right up until the very end. Until—

 

~~~~

 

Akihiko awoke to the sudden crack of thunder. He sat up, yawning and rubbing his eyes. He then looked towards his alarm clock. 12:12am. His head dropped into his hands as he thought about his dream. About when he and Shinjiro had first started fighting together as members of SEES. It all seemed so long ago now. And so much had changed since then. For the worst, mainly. He wished he could go back two years and stop the accident from ever happening. For now, though, he would accept being given the chance to at least keep his best friend from dying.

 

Another loud crack of thunder jolted him out of his thoughts. He shook his head before climbing out of bed. Maybe a glass of cold water and a quick jog around the block would help clear his mind. Help him to grow tired again. Because, all of a sudden, he was wide awake.

 

He made his way down to the lounge, only to find the glow of a candle already there. He glanced around the couch to see Shinjiro sitting there with a book in his hands.

 

“What are you doing up?” he spoke up.

 

The brunette kept his gaze on the book. “I could ask you the same thing.”

 

“Had a weird dream. Now I can’t sleep.”

 

“Let me guess,” he put the book down and faced the other, “you were gonna go out for a run, right?”

 

He paused. “I was gonna grab a glass of water.”

 

“That better be all. The rain’s still way too heavy for you to go for a run. Especially at this hour. You’ll make yourself sick.”

 

Akihiko turned away from the brunette as he smiled. Shinjiro would never admit it, but it was always nice when he worried about him. It made Akihiko feel like their friendship wasn’t so one-sided, after all.

 

He headed into the dorm’s kitchen and poured himself a small glass of water. He debated putting some protein powder in it, but decided against it. Maybe Shinjiro was right about going for a run. The storm did still seem pretty rough, so he was probably better off trying to go back to sleep. So, he drank the water and left the kitchen. When he walked out, he noticed Shinjiro was no longer sitting on the couch. He made his way for the stairs to see him waiting for him at the bottom.

 

“What? Making sure I’m not actually gonna go out for a run?” Akihiko said.

 

“I do know you better than that,” Shinjiro said.

 

He chuckled. “True enough.”

 

With that, the brunette started up the stairwell. Akihiko took a look around the lounge to make sure nothing had been left behind. Then he noticed something on the floor by the couch Shinjiro had been sitting on.

 

“Hold on,” he spoke up. “Did you drop something?” He walked over to the couch to pick up the object and identify it. When he did— “Capsules?” He narrowed his eyes. “Would you like to explain yourself?”

 

In the glimmer of light from the candle, Akihiko could see a flash of panic spread across Shinjiro’s face. It didn’t last long, though, before his expression turned into that infamous scowl of his. “Tch.” He made his way back down the few steps he had gone up. “You’re acting like you didn’t already know.”

 

“Does that mean you’re still taking them?”

 

“Ain’t none of your business,” he said as he reached out to take them back.

 

Akihiko pulled his hand away. “I’m making it my business.” He shook his head. “You’re fighting with us again. How can you still be taking them?”

 

“I only take them on the nights we go to Tartarus.”

 

“That doesn’t make it any better.”

 

“C’mon, give them back.”

 

“Why the hell would I do that? You don’t need them.”

 

“How would you know?”

 

“Because you’re stronger than this.”

 

The brunette stepped up to him and placed the candle on the coffee table. Then he faced him, leaning in ever so slightly. “Whatever.” Akihiko shoved him. Shinjiro stumbled back at bit, chuckling. “C’mon, you can do better than that.”

 

So, Akihiko punched him square in the jaw. Shinjiro stumbled back again, rubbing at his jaw. He nodded his head a few times before pouncing at the other. He wrapped his arm around his neck, pulling him into his chest like he had the other day. Except this time, it wasn’t a joke. He kept yanking and yanking until Akihiko punched him right in the gut. This loosened his hold, giving him the chance to break free from the headlock. Then he shoved the brunette back again. He got a few more punches to face in before he found himself pinned against the wall. _Shit._ Shinjiro had a hold of him by his shirt, so he knew exactly what this meant. He squeezed his eyes shut, bracing himself. Next thing he knew, their heads collided. His head ricocheted off the wall behind him and he shook it off before opening his eyes. Shinjiro was stepping away from him like he had won, but it wasn’t over yet. Akihiko wasn’t gonna let him have the final word. Not this time. So, he snuck his foot behind the brunette’s ankle and punched him in the stomach again before knocking him to the ground. He dropped to his knees to get on top of him, pinning him with his right hand so he could hit him with his good arm. After he got another good few hits in, Shinjiro shifted his head, causing him to punch the floor. He then flipped Akihiko off him before climbing over him. He grabbed him by the shirt again before hitting him with another headbutt. This time, Akihiko’s head hit the floor afterward and—Now he felt dizzy. The room was beginning to spin around him, but like hell was he gonna give in. He kneed the brunette in the gut, knocking him backward. He scrambled to his knees, grabbing hold of Shinjiro’s shirt now. He coiled his arm to prep for another hit, but found himself being pulled away before he could deliver the punch.

 

“Are you two done yet?” Mitsuru spoke up.

 

Akihiko freed himself and looked behind him to see Iori and Takeba standing there. He then looked back down at Shinjiro, who was being aided by Yamagishi. She then rose to her feet to examine Akihiko.

 

“You two should probably go to the hospital,” Yamagishi said. “Both of you might need stitches.”

 

“What were you two thinking?” Mitsuru said.

 

Akihiko didn’t respond. Instead, he focused on the brunette again. Bloody nose. Cut lip. Black eye. Hell, he could only imagine what his own forehead might look that. His head was pounding, and the room was still spinning. But Shinjiro was in focus. He turned his head away and squeezed his eyes shut, unable to look at him any longer. Unable to look at the damage he had caused.

 

“Are either of you going to answer me?” Mitsuru went on. “You woke the entire dorm, so I say we deserve an explanation.”

 

When Akihiko opened his eyes again, he saw that Iori was helping Shinjiro back to his feet. He then took a deep, shaky breath. “Sorry,” he finally spoke up. “It was just a stupid fight.”

 

Takeba’s eyes widened. “Just a fight? Fuuka said you two might need stitches.”

 

“Ain’t no way we’re going to the hospital right now,” Shinjiro said.

 

“Unfortunately, he’s correct,” Mitsuru said. “There’s no way for us to get there with the weather still in this condition. So, it seems we’ll have to wait until morning.”

 

“Yeah, if they can even survive the night,” Iori said. “Man, you two seriously didn’t hold back.”

 

Akihiko glanced at the brunette only to find him staring back. For a long moment, they held each other’s gaze. Then Akihiko turned his head away. Except he turned it a little too quickly, causing a wave of dizziness to sweep over him. He lost his balance and found himself reaching out for… _anything._ And when he regained his balance, he saw that it was Shinjiro who he had a hold of.

 

The brunette shook his head at him. “Moron,” he said so only he could hear.

 

Once things calmed down, everyone made their way back to their own rooms. About ten minutes after Akihiko got into his room, the door opened. Shinjiro walked in with what seemed to be—

 

“First aid kit,” he said.

 

Akihiko only nodded before sitting up in his bed. Shinjiro pulled the chair over from his desk to sit down. He opened the kit and Akihiko let him start cleaning the cuts and nicks on his face. He had quite a few scars along his arms and legs from all the times he let the brunette treat him when they were kids. When they got scrapes from doing things they shouldn’t have been doing and didn’t want to tell the Caretaker. They’d go to their room and Shinjiro would take care of the rest. The first time he treated Akihiko was when he had nearly cut his knee open. They had snuck onto private property and he got his knee caught on a broken part of the fence on their way out. Shinjiro had ripped his own shirt to use as a tourniquet until they got back to the orphanage. When they did, they went back to their room and the brunette pulled out his first aid kid and actually stitched the wound himself. For a twelve-year-old, he hadn’t done a bad job, either. And Akihiko didn’t mind the scar.

 

“I know Yamagishi said we might need stitches, but I also know we’ve survived through worse,” Shinjiro spoke up after a while. “Although, I’m sure Kirijo will still force us to go to the hospital tomorrow.”

 

“Most likely,” Akihiko said. He hissed out of pain when the brunette started cleaning a cut near his eye. “The hell is wrong with us?”

 

“A lot of things.”

 

“Probably why we were never able to make any other friends, huh?”

 

“Like we ever needed anyone else.”

 

Akihiko couldn’t help but smile at this. The brunette was right. He never did need anyone else. Any other friends. Shinjiro was enough.

 

He then flinched again, causing the brunette to stop. “Sorry,” he said.

 

“Don’t be,” Akihiko said. “My own fault.”

 

“Not really.” He continued dabbing at the cut. “I, uh…I know I say you always start this shit, but I instigate you on purpose, so…” Akihiko opened his eyes and locked his gaze with the brunette’s. He paused with his hand against Akihiko’s temple, and the slightest brush of his fingers caused his breath to catch in his throat. After a long moment, Shinjiro cleared his throat, pulling his hand away. “That should be good for now.” He put his kit away. “How’s your head?”

 

“Might have another concussion.”

 

“Well, don’t die in your sleep, then.”

 

Now he couldn’t help but chuckle. “Thanks.”

 

“Yeah.” He stood up and moved the chair back. “Night, moron.”

 

Akihiko watched Shinjiro as he took his leave. Suddenly, there was something…different about him. Something he had somehow always seen, yet had never noticed before. He didn’t have much longer to figure it out, though. The fourth of October was coming up fast, and—

 

And if Akihiko was granted with another chance to get things right, he would definitely make sure to change this night. Except for those final moments.


	14. The Moment

When Akihiko first stepped onto the rooftop of the dorm, the sun had still been shining. Now it had long since set, yet he still found himself gazing out over the small city. It was peaceful. Relaxing. Quiet. A moment caught in time where he could forget about the rest of the world. Forget about the Dark Hour. Forget about Shadows and Strega. Forget about Tartarus and Personas. A moment where he could feel like a kid again.

 

“How long have you been up here?” a voice suddenly broke the silence.

 

“I’m not sure,” Akihiko said. “I lost track of the time.”

 

Shinjiro stepped up beside him. He glanced over at the brunette and cringed at the bruises and cuts still healing from their fight almost a week earlier. “It’s late,” Shinjiro went on. “The group is getting ready to go to Tartarus.”

 

“Okay.” He paused, glancing at the other once more. In about another week’s time, it would be the fourth of October again. He would then find out if he did enough to save Shinjiro this time. If not…well, he could only hope he would get another chance. Or he could only hope to wake up from the strangest dream of his life. The most realistic dream. Or maybe it was more like a nightmare. Hmm. He supposed that would depend on the outcome of his waking life. “Hey, I know things have been rough between us lately,” he then spoke up, “but I want you to know you’re still my best friend.”

 

“No shit, moron,” Shinjiro said. “You think I don’t know that? C’mon, you don’t beat the shit out of people just for the hell of it.”

 

He wanted to laugh at this, but he didn’t. “Either way, I need you to know that no matter how many headbutts you hit me with, I’d still do anything for you.” He swallowed hard. “I would die for you.”

 

Now he raised an eyebrow at him. “You feeling all right?”

 

“I’m fine. Just…a lot on my mind. Been thinking about things.”

 

“It’s dangerous when you think.”

 

Now he allowed himself to chuckle a bit. “Oh, thanks.”

 

“You know it’s true. Your ideas have only ever gotten us into trouble because you never actually think things all the way through.”

 

“Like you’ve ever been any better.”

 

The brunette shrugged his shoulders. “Better than you.”

 

“So, you think I’d get myself in trouble if I…” he jumped up onto the ledge of the rooftop, “…did this?”

 

“Get down, Aki.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because you’re gonna fall.”

 

“I’m not gonna fall. My balance is a lot better now than it was when we were kids.”

 

“Yeah, but this rooftop is also a hell of a lot higher than that jungle gym. You fall from up here and you’ll definitely snap your neck.”

 

Akihiko laughed at the memory. “The jungle gym. That’s right.” He shook his head. “We were pretty reckless, huh?”

 

“You were reckless, and you still are,” he said. “Now get your ass down from there. You ain’t impressing anyone.”

 

He paused. “Not even you?”

 

“Tch.”

 

Akihiko smirked now. He could’ve sworn he saw a tint of colour rise to Shinjiro’s cheeks, and the thought made him almost…giddy. Growing up, he always thought he’d want to learn to impress girls. To get their attention. That wasn’t the case, though. He only ever wanted the brunette’s attention. Maybe that was why he stayed so irresponsible. Because so long as he was reckless, Shinjiro would keep an eye on him.

 

“You done showing off yet?” Shinjiro spoke up.

 

“Not until you admit you’re impressed.”

 

“Never gonna happen.”

 

“Then I can’t get down yet.” He cautiously moved back until his heels lined up with the very edge. “Tell me.”

 

“Stop, Aki.”

 

“Why? Are you scared?”

 

“Don’t make me beat you again.”

 

He laughed some more. Until, that is, his foot slipped off the edge and he lost his balance. In a moment, though, there was a hand grabbing his and another arm around his waist as he got pulled down and into Shinjiro’s chest. For a while, Akihiko didn’t move. He just remained against the brunette, catching his breath. Breathing in his scent. Shinjiro didn’t move, either. He kept his arms wrapped tight around Akihiko. It was like if either of them let go, Akihiko would somehow still end up falling.

 

Falling. Huh…

 

“You are such an idiot,” Shinjiro soon spoke up, his voice low with the slightest hint of a crack in it.

 

Akihiko felt his breath against his ear again, and it caused him to shiver. He pushed away from him to meet his gaze. “Quick acting.”

 

“That’s what happens when you grow up around someone as reckless as you.”

 

Akihiko swallowed hard. Shinjiro had caught him. He kept him from falling off the roof. Yet, he still felt like he was falling. _Holy shit…_

 

“C’mon, we better get going or else Kirijo will come looking for us,” Shinjiro then said as he stepped away from Akihiko. “Hell, I’m surprised she’s even been letting us be alone together considering what happened last week.”

 

“Y-yeah,” he said as the brunette walked away.

 

It struck him like an ice attack, and now Akihiko was frozen in place. Shit. He had fallen for his best friend. And maybe that was the exact answer he needed to save him.


	15. The Third

The dreaded night had arrived. Again. Akihiko’s anxiety was through the roof. He didn’t even get this anxious before a boxing match. Then again, those were simple to him. Just a few good hits and they were over. This was different. Tonight, he’d be facing the same Shadows a third time. Tonight was about life or death.

 

Hopefully life.

 

Before everyone got summoned to the Command Room to initiate the operation, Akihiko headed to Shinjiro’s room. He knocked on the door and waited for an answer that never came. So, he just let himself in. _Damn it._ Shinjiro was already gone. He had been hoping he would’ve been able to stall him from going to meet Amada. To stop him. Apparently, though, he hadn’t been quick enough.  Next time—if there was a next time—he’d have to go sooner.

 

Part of him wished there wasn’t going to be a next time. He wished that the realisation of his feelings would be enough to save his best friend. Part of him wished there would be a next time, though, if that wasn’t the case. He’d already been given two extra chances. So, why not a third? The third time’s the charm, after all.

 

At Akihiko’s very first boxing match, he had practically been shaking before stepping into the ring. He hadn’t felt ready, at the time. He was still relatively new to the sport; he didn’t know exactly what he was doing. Yet, the rest of his team had deemed him ready. More than ready. So, he opened the match. When he stepped into the ring and saw the crowd—albeit, a small crowd, but still a bigger crowd he had ever been in front of before—he lost all his focus. The sounds of the cheers were drowned out, and he couldn’t hear the Commentator anymore. But then he spotted Shinjiro sitting in the stands and every single one of his doubts washed away. He had no longer been afraid, and he won the match by a landslide.

 

That was the first and last match the brunette ever attended. But it had been enough to fuel Akihiko for every match afterward. He would always picture Shinjiro in the crowd, and he would pretend the match was for him. To impress him. Because that’s what it had always been about.

 

Now, though, he couldn’t pretend the brunette was there. He couldn’t picture him with the rest of the group because he knew exactly where he was. He knew exactly what was going to happen if they didn’t beat these Shadows as fast as they could. But he knew what to expect from the Shadows. Just like he had learned to anticipate his rivals’ moves in the ring. Except this was still different because he had already fought this fight. He was able to anticipate it in a whole other way.

 

The battle felt as if it had dragged on forever. It was the damn roulette Shadow that really screwed shit up. But once Akihiko managed to get a good shock in, Arisato managed to take it out with a single blow. Then as soon as Yamagishi confirmed that there were no Shadows left, Akihiko took off running.

 

“Akihiko, where are you going?” Mitsuru called after him.

 

“To find Shinji and Amada,” he said.

 

“But you don’t know where to look for them.”

 

“It’s October fourth. I know exactly where to find them.”

 

With that, he left Mitsuru with the others to explain the significance of the date. He didn’t have the chance to stick around for the explanation this time. He just had to get to the back alley before Takaya. Or at least before he could shoot Shinjiro a second time. Or even the first time, preferably.

 

He couldn’t remember ever running so fast in his entire life. The city was a blur of green, yellow, and red hues. Colours of distress. Telling him to slow down. To stop. He kept going, though. He wasn’t sure how much time he had left to get to the back alley, but he tried not to think about that. He thought about just making it in time. About saving his best friend.

 

By the time he reached Port Island Station, he had yet to hear any gunshots. Good. This was perfect. Maybe this time every fight would have been worth it. Every hit and grunt and drop of blood. Hell, Akihiko could no longer feel his body he was so pumped up on adrenaline. So, he continued to the back alley. And there they were. Shinjiro and Amada. Both of them still on their feet.

 

Then he saw him. Takaya. Arm raised. Ready to pull the trigger. And that was when time might as well have come to a standstill. Akihiko rushed towards Shinjiro, who didn’t seem to notice his presence until he was being pushed aside.

 

The next thing Akihiko felt was a sharp pain in his chest. And what he saw was a look of pissed off horror on Shinjiro’s face.

 

Then he was in the brunette’s arms. The task of breathing had suddenly become far more thought-consuming than ever before.

 

“Don’t do it, Ken,” he heard Shinjiro say. “Let him go. We’ll get him back later.” He then looked down at Akihiko. “The hell were you thinking?”

 

Akihiko blinked a few times, still trying to piece together what had happened. The sharp pain. The look on the brunette’s face. And who was Amada gonna go after? Takaya? _We’ll get him back later._ Huh. Things had definitely played out differently this time.

 

Akihiko had taken the bullet.

 

“Aki. Answer me,” Shinjiro said. “You’re such an idiot. Seriously, what the hell were you thinking?”

 

“I-I couldn’t let you die…” he said.

 

He narrowed his eyes, but he no longer looked pissed off. Just…scared. Like Akihiko had felt the two times before. Not that that made up for the other instances. He didn’t want Shinjiro to be scared.

 

“We have to get him to the others,” Amada spoke up.

 

“We have to get him to the hospital,” Shinjiro said.

 

“But it’s still the Dark Hour.”

 

“Shit…”

 

Exclamations then filled the solemn air. Calls of _Akihiko_ and _Senpai._ The rest of the group must’ve finally caught up. Made sense that it would’ve taken this long for them to show up, seeing as he had arrived early enough to take the first bullet. The only bullet. He was dying, but maybe he had still made things right.

 

“Keep your eyes open, Aki,” he then heard Shinjiro say. Huh. Akihiko hadn’t noticed he had even closed his eyes. “C’mon, stay with us. Stay with me.”

 

 _Stay with me._ He hadn’t realised just how much he wanted to hear those words until the brunette said them. He smiled weakly. “Told you I would die for you.”

 

“Tch. Sure, but you weren’t supposed to be reckless enough to actually mean it,” Shinjiro said. “You can’t die now. There’s too much left for you to fight for. You need to be here to finish what you started. Not me. I can’t—” He stopped, swallowing hard. “C’mon, Aki, you’re so much stronger than I am.”

 

“About time you admit it.”

 

“Shut up. Now ain’t the time for you to be stupid.”

 

He only kept smiling as best he could. Dying wasn’t as painful as he would’ve imagined it to be. The initial shot was painful, but now… Now he felt at peace. So, maybe this was right. Maybe he had figured it out. Maybe the sacrifice would be worth it.

 

“Fight for me,” Akihiko spoke up. “And you and Amada better play nice.” He looked up at the brunette. He could’ve sworn he noticed something streaking his cheeks. Something wet on his own face. “Shinji…do you think…this is how it should be?”

 

“No, moron, this ain’t right.”

 

 _We’ll find out soon._ Akihiko wasn’t sure if he had said that out loud or not. His eyes were closed now, and he couldn’t bring himself to open them again. He couldn’t feel Shinjiro’s arms holding onto him anymore. It was just him and nothingness.

 

_This isn’t right._


	16. The Breath

He awoke in a cold sweat, gasping for breath. He clutched at his chest, forcing himself to take deep breaths. He could feel his heart racing. Beating. It was beating. He was alive. So, that meant—

 

Akihiko grabbed his phone to check the date. It was, once again, the 2nd of September. So, that meant sacrificing himself for Shinjiro still wasn’t the right move. Just like the brunette had said. But he refused to accept that letting his best friend get shot was right. There had to be something he was still missing.

 

He shook his head. For now, he had to focus on convincing Shinjiro—for a fourth time—to rejoin the team. Something told him this time around it wouldn’t be so simple.

 

He slid out of bed, stumbling a bit once he got to his feet. Hmm. His balance was off. He had a feeling that had to do with practically dying the night before. It would most likely have some sort of effect on him the coming day. He already felt weaker than usual. He took a deep breath to steady himself. He suddenly felt thankful Shinjiro wasn’t the one experiencing this oddity, because having to go through three instances of getting shot but not truly dying seemed exhausting.

 

Two times. He had watched his best friend almost die twice now. Saved him once. Hell, no wonder his head was pounding. His ears were ringing, too. Almost like he could still hear the sound of the gun firing. He grabbed his head, shaking it in a vain attempt to rid himself of the sensation. Ugh. This had to be taking some sort of toll on his mental health. Maybe he truly was just going crazy. Maybe this was what Apathy Syndrome was like. A false reality. A dream come true. Or more like a nightmare…

 

Rather than continue rationalising it, Akihiko left his room and made his way downstairs. He figured he would take one of his protein shots before doing anything else. Maybe that would give him the extra burst of strength and energy he needed.

 

“Morning, Senpai,” Iori greeted him once he reached the foot of the stairs. “Whoa, man, you feeling all right?”

 

He froze before turning to Iori. “Why?”

 

“You’re way paler than usual.”

 

“Oh. Uhm…” He swallowed hard. “I didn’t sleep well last night.”

 

“You look worse than just having not slept well.”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

Without another word, he turned and walked into the kitchen. He grabbed a protein shake before heading back upstairs to get ready for the day ahead of him. It was definitely gonna be a long one.

 

He spent most of the day distracted, and was grateful when his break period finally came around. During it, he did some research in the library. He looked up the legend of Castor and Pollux. He wasn’t sure what exactly had made him think of it now, but he considered the idea that maybe their story could give him some insight on how to handle the situation with himself and Shinjiro.

 

Except the story of Castor and Pollux was pretty straightforward. Him and Shinjiro were a little more complicated.

 

Akihiko was back in class when the teacher—ironically—asked which constellation it was that Castor and Pollux represented in Latin.

 

“Gemini,” he spoke up.

 

“Yes. Thank you, Mr. Sanada. Next time, though, raise your hand or wait to be called on,” the teacher said.

 

He nodded his head once in response. The only reason he had answered in the first place was because the name _Castor_ caught his attention. His focus before that question, and for the rest of the period, was elsewhere.

 

Once school let out, Akihiko was ready to make his move. Wasting no time, he practically snuck his way out of the school, dodging his boxing Kohai and avoiding his SEES Kohai. For a moment, he debated tracking down Arisato and asking him to come along like he had the very first instance. Then he decided it wouldn’t make a difference. After all, this was between him and Shinjiro.

 

No more games.

 

He made his way for Hagakure, briefcase being held by white knuckles. He stood right outside the door of the restaurant with his arm outstretched just as Shinjiro walked out, causing the brunette to walk into the briefcase itself.

 

Shinjiro growled under his breath. “You’re shitting me, right?” He rolled his eyes. “You just can’t leave well enough alone, can you?”

 

“We have new enemies,” Akihiko said, steadfast. “They’re also Persona-users. Plus, Ken Amada has officially joined the team.”

 

His eyes narrowed. “What? Ikutsuki-san allowed a kid to join the team? Tch. Or did he force him to join?”

 

“He volunteered.”

 

He sighed, shaking his head. “You’re getting to be way too stubborn for your own damn good.” He took the briefcase from him and walked past him. “You best not fall behind or show off. I ain’t gonna put up with that shit.”

 

Akihiko couldn’t help the grin. “C’mon, I wouldn’t be me otherwise.”

 

“Tch. Moron.”

 

With that, the two of them made their way back to the dorm. When they arrived, Shinjiro headed up to his old room. Akihiko knew he would stay in there for the rest of the night, and he would leave him be. There was no need to make matters worse by risking saying something stupid to him so soon. Besides, he was still letting the fact sink in that making the brunette rejoin went as smoothly as it had. He could only hope the rest of the month would be just as smooth. Just as easy.

 

For now, though, he would accept one victory at a time.


	17. The Truth

Akihiko woke up the morning after the full moon nearly exhausted. But he managed to shake it off and got through the school day in one piece. Rather than being free to return to the dorm, though, he went to the hospital with Mitsuru to interrogate Chidori. A futile effort. That had been the only reason he wasn’t interested in going, too. Not that he would have been able to tell Mitsuru that. Besides, he sure as hell wasn’t gonna let her go alone, whether he knew what was gonna happen or not.

 

Once he did get back to the dorm, he looked around the lounge to see no sign of Shinjiro. So, he retired to his room for the evening. With a full moon operation having happened just the night before, it wasn’t like the group would be making a Tartarus trip the coming night anyhow.

 

He wasn’t sure how long he had spent sprawled across his bed before his door opened. He lifted his head to see Shinjiro walking in. It was nice to see him with no cuts covering his face. Hopefully it would stay that way. No. It would definitely stay that way. Akihiko was going to make sure of it. No fighting this round.

 

Shinjiro pulled the chair from his desk and brought it next to his bed before sitting down. “How’d the interrogation go?”

 

He let out a frustrated sigh. “Not well. She wouldn’t say a word. And that’ll continue to be the case unless Iori is in the room. And in four days it’ll get worse when her Persona tries to kill her. Luckily, though, you’ll conveniently be there to give her the proper pills to stop her Persona.”

 

Akihiko froze. _Shit._ He was so worn-out, the words came out of his mouth before he could even think about shutting himself up. He supposed it was too late to backtalk himself now. Maybe it would be better if he explained the situation to Shinjiro anyway. To an extent, at least.

 

“Hold on, how the hell would you know that?” the brunette said.

 

He took a deep breath. _Here goes nothing._ “Because this is my fourth time living through this month.”

 

He paused, brow furrowed. “Excuse me?”

 

“This is my fourth time living through this month,” he said again. He finally sat up. “I keep getting to the fourth of October. Then…something goes wrong, and when I wake up, it’s September second again. I went through the month once as is, and now I’m on my third repeat of it.”

 

“Is this soma kinda stupid joke?”

 

“No, I—I’m serious, Shinji.”

 

The brunette shook his head at him. “Did you get a bad dose of protein or some shit? You sound crazy.”

 

“Yeah, I know it sounds insane, but it’s the truth. And I need you to believe me.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I’m thinking now that it could make all the difference.”

 

He paused, letting Akihiko’s words sink in. Taking them into consideration. “Uh…what exactly has gone wrong on October fourth?”

 

“I’d rather not tell you. I think if I do tell you then it’ll just really mess things up.”

 

“Why are you telling me this at all?”

 

“Because that shit about Chidori came out, so I figured why not just tell you the rest?”

 

“Tch. You’re serious about this? You actually believe yourself?”

 

“I thought it was some weird dream at first, too, but…it’s all way too realistic. Way too similar. Way too perfect. Like fixed points in time, but with slight variations. And I think the way our conversations go have an effect on the end result.”

 

“Just conversations between you and me?”

 

“Well, as far as I’m concerned, I’m the only one experiencing this.”

 

“But…why me?”

 

 _Because, apparently, I’m in love with you._ Tch. That was the truth Akihiko really should’ve told Shinjiro. He couldn’t, though. Not yet. The timing just didn’t feel right. But he would tell him before the month’s end.

 

“I dunno,” Akihiko spoke up, shrugging his shoulders. “Maybe because we’ve grown up together. Maybe this is just some other obstacle for us.”

 

“Tch. Moron.” He smiled. “Sometimes I wonder why I’ve stayed friends with you for as long as I have.”

 

“Because you’re too much of a jackass to make new friends.”

 

“At least I don’t think punching people is a sign of affection.”

 

“Like you don’t use _moron_ as a term of endearment.”

 

Now he was chuckling. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

 

For the first time in years, Shinjiro’s use of that word didn’t piss Akihiko off. There was no heat behind it. No malevolence or malicious intent. He was just saying it to brush off the conversation. Not to instigate a fight. It was a simple word. A means to an end. And Akihiko was okay with letting the conversation end there.

 

For the rest of the night, they stayed quiet. They enjoyed each other’s company. Akihiko trained with his heavy bag while Shinjiro sat on his bed reading a book. It was simple. Normal. Like things were before the accident. Before Personas and SEES. Back when they were kids. And it was the best feeling in the world.

 

It was right.


	18. The Calm

It was the third interrogation day. That meant it was the day Shinjiro would stop by the hospital. The day Chidori’s Persona would act up and try killing her. The day the brunette would stop it from happening. The day Akihiko would find out about the drugs he had been taking. Except he already knew about them. He was aware and he was prepared to handle the situation better than he had any time before.

 

When Shinjiro showed up, the scene played out just like the three previous times. Except when the brunette left after the incident, Akihiko didn’t go after him. This time, he was gonna wait. He was gonna let the brunette calm down. Let himself calm down because, even though he knew, it still didn’t change the hurt. It still bothered him that Shinjiro had ever turned to drugs in the first place. And they would talk about it. Not in the middle of Port Island Station, though. Not when emotions were running high.

 

Akihiko left the hospital with Mitsuru shortly after the incident. When they reached Port Island Station, he looked towards the back alley. He wondered if Shinjiro was there or if he had returned to the dorm.

 

“Akihiko,” he heard Mitsuru say. He glanced over at her. “Have you been listening to a word I’ve said?”

 

“Sorry, just a bit distracted.”

 

“Hmm. Why do you think Shinjiro had those pills?”

 

“Beats me.”

 

“You don’t think… _he’s_ taking them, do you?”

 

“I really couldn’t say.”

 

That wasn’t true, of course, but he wasn’t in the mood to discuss the issue with Mitsuru. Luckily, though, she was considerate enough to end it there. Then the tram arrived, and they boarded it in silence. And they remained quiet for the entirety of the ride back. Once they arrived at Iwatodai Station, though, Mitsuru was rambling again. Akihiko tried to listen, but he just wasn’t interested in what she had to say. All he could think about was where Shinjiro could’ve run off to. He very well could’ve just gone back to the dorm, but he doubted it. The next thing he knew, they were outside the dorm themselves.

 

“Y’know, I think I’m gonna go for a run,” Akihiko spoke up.

 

“Very well,” Mitsuru said with a nod. “Try not to stay out too late.” And she made her way inside the dorm on her own.

 

He watched her until the door closed her behind her. Then he jogged in place for a couple steps before taking off. He ran around the city aimlessly for a while. Not like he had any real destination in mind to begin with. Eventually, though, he found himself at the shrine. So, he stopped his run to climb the jungle gym. He stood on the top with his eyes closed, feeling the light breeze envelop him.

 

“Careful, Emperor,” a voice soon said from below, “or you might break your crown.” He opened his eyes and looked down to find none other than Shinjiro standing below him. He gestured towards the Shiba Inu with a nod of his head. “Koro-chan wanted to go for a walk.”

 

He nodded in return as he moved to sit down on the bars. “How do you think I even survived that fall back then?”

 

“Stubbornness. Might not be so lucky now, though. You give in more easily.”

 

“I do not.”

 

“Tch.” The brunette chuckled. “If you say so.”

 

Shinjiro was then climbing up and sitting beside Akihiko on the top. They sat in silence for a while as they watched the sky’s light fade into a dim blue. Koromaru was enjoying running around the shrine and didn’t seem ready to go home anytime soon. Neither was Akihiko. He could’ve sat there with Shinjiro forever.

 

“Did you become so resentful of your powers that you had to start taking suppressants?” he spoke up once he figured out how he wanted to word the phrase. He only got a huff of breath in response. It was practically inaudible, but it was a response, nonetheless. One that Akihiko understood all too well. “You don’t need them, Shinji. You’re stronger than this. You’re better than this.”

 

“I refuse to lose control again,” he said. “I won’t risk hurting you or—or any of the others, for that matter.”

 

“You won’t.”

 

“How can you be so sure?” Shinjiro shook his head. “I went just about two years without using my Persona. I didn’t have control of it then, so why would I now?”

 

“I think feeling that way is enough to keep it under control.”

 

“And if it’s not?”

 

Now he let out a heavy sigh. “I believe you don’t need them. And I believe that because I believe in you.”

 

“Tch. Stop being such a sap.” That was when Koromaru started barking at them from the ground. “Guess he’s ready to go.” He jumped down, landing hard on his feet. “Let’s get back to the dorm.”

 

Rather than simply jumping down, Akihiko leaned back and grabbed a hold of the top bars. He swung his legs down and performed backflip before landing on the ground. He stood up straight with a big grin on his face. The brunette rolled his eyes at him.

 

“You’re such a show off,” he said.

 

He continued grinning. “Only if you’re around for me to impress.”

 

“Tch.” He punched his shoulder teasingly. “Moron.”

 

Akihiko broke into laughter as he followed Shinjiro and Koromaru out of the shrine. Once they were at the bottom of the staircase, though, he stopped. It didn’t take very long for the brunette to notice, and he stopped as well.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

He was standing beside a trashcan. He held out his hand. “Let me have them.”

 

Shinjiro took a deep breath as he just stared at the other’s open palm. It was when he was nudged by Koromaru that he stepped toward Akihiko. He pulled the capsules out of his coat pocket and handed them over. Akihiko took them and crushed each one individually before tossing them.

 

“I trust you won’t be able to get more,” he spoke up.

 

“I won’t.”

 

“Promise?”

 

He rolled his eyes at him again. “What is with you, Aki?”

 

“I’m serious, Shinji. Do you promise to stop?”

 

“C’mon, we ain’t little kids anymore.”

 

“Doesn’t matter. Promise me.”

 

Now he chuckled at him. “Fine. I promise.”

 

With that said, they made their way back to the dorm, Koromaru in the lead. They spoke softly to one another here and there, but were quiet for most of the walk. That was okay, though. It was more than okay. It was comfortable.

 

It was right.


	19. The Touch

The next few days were…simple, to say the least.

 

Akihiko attended school. The group made trips to Tartarus. He and Shinjiro—Well, they didn’t spend an extra amount of time together, but the time they did spend together was normal. They didn’t talk much, but that meant they weren’t arguing. Besides, they could decipher a full sentence with just the tilt of a head. All that mattered to Akihiko, though, was the fact that he was getting the chance to be with the brunette. Every so often, Shinjiro would tease him by asking about his prediction for the day ahead, to which Akihiko would only shake his head in response. But that was okay. He’d take the teasing over a punch any day.

 

By now, September was already halfway over. Akihiko had a limited amount of time left to make sure things would turn out better this go-round than any other. So far, the atmosphere between him and the brunette did feel healthier. It felt like there was almost a spark. Like the electricity in his veins was striking Shinjiro every time they locked eyes. It was driving Akihiko mad.

 

Then a night finally came when it was just the two of them. They were in Akihiko’s room, enjoying the silence. Akihiko was sitting backwards in his desk chair, his arms wrapped around the back of it as he focused on sewing his boxing gloves. Shinjiro was sitting on his bed, his back against the wall as he read a book. Better yet, the group had no plans to go to Tartarus, so Akihiko knew they wouldn’t be interrupted.

 

He lifted his gaze until his eyes landed on the brunette. He was dressed down in his night garments, which meant he wasn’t wearing his coat. And that probably wouldn’t matter to anyone else, but it meant something to Akihiko. It made him feel like the other was comfortable enough to be—almost—naked around him. After all, that coat was like an extra layer of protection for him.

 

Except maybe Akihiko was reading too deep into it. Maybe it didn’t mean anything at all. Maybe he just needed to focus back on his gloves. Maybe… Maybe he needed to learn when to stop overthinking every little detail. So, he did. He stopped thinking and observed the brunette. He had known him his whole life, yet he felt as if there was so much he hadn’t noticed about him. The curvature of his jaw. The slight slant of his nose from taking one too many hits to the face. The way his eyes seemed to gleam in the dim light through thick strands of hair; there was nothing dull about them. Then there was the length of his neck. It was almost always covered by that damn turtleneck, but it was long and thin, and he could almost make out the veins in it. The same veins that were strained every time he was angry or upset or concerned.

 

“You gonna keep staring?” Shinjiro soon spoke up. Akihiko swallowed hard, dropping his head. He continued with sewing his gloves, but his fingers only fumbled as heat rose to his cheeks. He could hear the brunette chuckling. Then he heard rustling and he looked up again to see Shinjiro getting to his feet. “Think I’m gonna turn in for the night.”

 

“H-hold on,” he said.

 

“What?” It was short and abrupt. That was how Akihiko could tell Shinjiro felt tired; he had little to no patience.

 

He rose to his feet, placing his boxing gloves on the now empty seat. “I, uh…need to talk to you about something.”

 

“This have to do with you reliving the month over again?”

 

“In a way, I guess. Uhm…” He squeezed his eyes shut as he tried collecting his thoughts. Never had they been more scrambled. Like stars in the sky. Constellations. “There’s been a lot on my mind lately, y’know, in general.” He stepped closer to Shinjiro. “I need to get it off my chest.”

 

He raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re gonna speak your mind?” He practically snorted, but also moved in closer. “Tch. Words ain’t your strong suit. Trust me, you talk better with your fists.”

 

“You know what?” He nodded, taking a deep breath. “Yeah. You’re right.” He tentatively reached out to brush a strand of hair out of Shinjiro’s face. “I am better with actions.”

 

As he recoiled his hand, Akihiko examined Shinjiro’s expression. He was showcasing that infamous scowl of his, except he wasn’t trying to plan his escape this time. Instead, he was only trying to determine Akihiko’s next move. Little did he know, Akihiko was about to surprise them both.

 

He kissed the brunette.

 

The action was hard and sloppy, and their lips didn’t quite line up. At least, not until Shinjiro made an adjustment to kiss him back. And that was when Akihiko realised his eyes were still open because even he couldn’t believe what was happening. So, he blinked a couple times before letting his eyes stay shut. Then…nothing. They just stood there. Neither of them knew what to do with their hands—or with their mouths, for that matter—but they also didn’t want to stop. Despite the awkwardness, though, this was so much better than fighting. Hell, it was a whole other means of communication that didn’t involve fists or, well, hurting each other. A language even more diverse than Shinjiro’s headbutts. And the best part was that it still didn’t involve talking. Because they’d come to accept the fact that they were never gonna be any good at that.

 

Akihiko finally pulled away when he found his need for air outgrowing his need to stay connected to the brunette. He took a few deep breaths before he was brought back in for another kiss. This time, Shinjiro took his head in his hands for the action. So, Akihiko put his shaking hands on the other’s hips. And… _damn it_. How the hell had he never realised how much taller the brunette was than him? It wasn’t fair. Tch. It had to be that long neck of his. Hell, Akihiko had to tilt his head back to get a decent angle. And when Shinjiro broke away, he had to rise onto his toes to recapture his lips. The brunette must’ve noticed this action, because he chuckled into the third kiss. It was a low, gruff sound, and it sent a shiver down Akihiko’s spine.

 

Yeah. This adrenaline rush was way better than the rush he got from any fight. It was way more meaningful. More intense.

 

When they broke apart next, they were both breathing heavy. Shinjiro’s eyes were still closed, but Akihiko took the moment to examine him more closely. The lines on his lips. The scar on his chin. Another scar by the corner of his left eye. The crease in the bridge of his nose.

 

“Maybe I should’ve spoken up sooner,” Akihiko finally broke the silence, his voice low. Hoarse.

 

A small smirk formed across Shinjiro’s lips, but he kept his eyes closed. “Tch. You have no idea how long—”

 

“I think I do.”

 

He broke into a full smile as he slid his hands down Akihiko’s side before wrapping them around him. He pulled him against his body as he went in for another kiss. Deeper this time. Stronger. Akihiko’s breath caught in his throat, but he didn’t resist. And when the brunette’s tongue started playing along his lips, he parted them. Shinjiro seemed to have much more confidence in his actions, so Akihiko let him take control. This was all new to him; the last thing he wanted to do was make a wrong move.

 

Next thing he knew, his back was up against the wall. He gasped into the kiss, and that was when Shinjiro broke it. He then squeezed Akihiko’s hips before stepping away from him. _Shit._ Last time the brunette had shoved him up against a wall like that, he had been headbutted. Being kissed was so much better. So much more exhilarating.

 

“Shinji…” Akihiko soon spoke up, still a little breathless.

 

Shinjiro glanced up at him before reaching out. He caressed Akihiko’s cheek with the back of his hand. His knuckles. It was the very first time he had ever been touched by the brunette’s knuckles in such a passive way.

 

“I don’t know why I still put up with you,” Shinjiro said.

 

“I think I do,” he said again.

 

“Tch.” He grinned ever so slightly. “You think you know everything.”

 

“I know you.”

 

A statement like that would almost seem obvious after knowing someone for the entirety of their life. For two people as reserved as Akihiko and Shinjiro, though, it wouldn’t seem possible. They grew up breaking down layers upon layers of walls. They grew up closed off from the world, but still somehow close to each other. Akihiko knew Shinjiro, just like Shinjiro knew Akihiko. They knew each other’s weakness. Their strengths. Their hobbies. Their pet peeves. They knew how to piss each other off. _Whatever_. And they knew how to make it up. _Tch. Sap_. They knew. It was second nature. Reflexes.

 

Shinjiro’s knuckles were still resting on Akihiko’s cheek as he nodded his head slowly. He then backed even further away, withdrawing himself. For a moment, Akihiko wanted to panic. He feared their actions were finally settling with the brunette and that he was beginning to regret the moment they had shared. But, for once, he waited. He waited and he watched as the brunette paced the room. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back…and forth…

 

This went on for a long couple of minutes, and finally, Akihiko couldn’t take it anymore. So, he reached out and stopped Shinjiro by placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. The brunette froze before turning to face him.

 

“Talk to me,” Akihiko said.

 

“Not much to say,” Shinjiro said. He swallowed hard. “I-I mean, I think that—” his cheeks flushed, “—that kiss said everything.”

 

He smiled in response. “Glad I was able to get my point across.”

 

“Tch.” He punched his shoulder teasingly. “And you still find a way to be a moron.”

 

He laughed. “Sorry.”

 

“Can I go to bed now?” he then said. Akihiko only nodded in response. So, the brunette grabbed his book and headed for the door. Before Shinjiro opened it, though, he stepped back up to the other. He kissed him lightly on the lips. That simple touch was enough to send electricity racing through Akihiko’s veins once more. “G’night, moron.” And he left to return to his own room.

 

Akihiko slumped against the wall that was still behind him once the door closed. Then he slid down it until he was on the floor. That went a hell of a lot better than he had been anticipating. He figured Shinjiro would’ve withdrawn himself rather than instigate a more passionate response. Not that he was complaining. That had been the most enthralling moment of his life. Better yet…

 

It was right.


	20. The Talk

It was still raining out due to the typhoon, but that didn’t keep Akihiko inside. Instead, he found himself on the roof of the dorm at a quarter to midnight. He kept replaying the last few days in his head over and over again. Ever since he and Shinjiro shared that initial kiss, everything had just been so much better. They weren’t ignoring each other. They weren’t arguing in the slightest. It was like all the pieces had fallen into place…

 

Except he still felt as if there was a piece missing.

 

Just then, a heavy coat was draped around his shoulders. A pair of arms wrapped around him to follow. And then there was a chin resting on his shoulder. “You’re gonna catch a cold being out here,” the voice said low in his ear. He blushed deep as the body moved away from him. He turned his head to see Shinjiro standing beside him. “What are you even doing out here?” the brunette went on. “Not like there are any meteor showers you can see.”

 

He couldn’t help but chuckle at the comment. “Just thinking,” he said.

 

“You’ve been doing that a lot lately. Usually you just act.”

 

“Yeah, well, that never seems to get me very far. I’ve actually thought things through this time around and—” He stopped himself, not wanting to get into that particular subject just now. “Either way, thinking has given me the best outcome so far.”

 

“You’re referring to the… _other_ Septembers, yeah?”

 

He didn’t respond. He just continued to look out over the storm-laden city. It was almost like there was no sign of life. No other people in the world. Just him and Shinjiro and the rain. Not even the stars could shine their company in that moment.

 

“Listen, Aki,” the brunette soon spoke up, “I ain’t entirely sure what might be going on in that head of yours, but if there’s anything I can do to help…just let me know.”

 

 _Don’t die._ Akihiko still hadn’t informed the brunette of his possible fate. He couldn’t bring himself to tell him. He wasn’t sure if it would make a difference in the long run. If it would save him, or if it would only make matters worse and ruin any chance of him surviving. And there was no way in hell he was willing to take that risk. Especially with October fourth right around the corner…

 

A hand on his shoulder broke him out of his thoughts. He looked over at Shinjiro. There was an expression on his face that was…unreadable. _Damn it_. He hated those expressions. The brunette made sure Akihiko couldn’t read him, that way he could figure out what the other was thinking first. It was brilliantly frustrating, and something he had mastered as a child. Along with that scowl. Akihiko preferred the scowl, if only because he actually knew what that look meant.

 

Then there were lips on his. Shinjiro pulled on the lapels of the coat to bring Akihiko right up against him as he kissed him harder. Deeper. He coaxed Akihiko’s lips open, granting his own tongue entrance into the other’s mouth. It was a sensation Akihiko still wasn’t used to. A sensation he never wanted to get used to. He forever wanted to feel the goosebumps rise on his skin whenever the brunette kissed him or touched him or made any sort of sound in his ear. Because the formation of goosebumps felt so much better than bruises.

 

His breath suddenly caught in his throat when he felt Shinjiro’s warm breath on his jaw, followed by his teeth. He nipped at the sensitive skin until Akihiko couldn’t take it any longer. He pushed the brunette away, only to find him smirking down at him. He wasn’t wearing his beanie, and his hair was stuck to his face due to the rain, framing it perfectly. And the staring must’ve overwhelmed him, because, soon enough, Shinjiro swallowed hard and turned his head away. Akihiko caught the rise of colour in the brunette’s cheeks, but didn’t say anything.

 

That was when the atmosphere shifted. The lights lining the street went out, and the fog seemed to sit heavier around them. And there was a green hue shining through the storm clouds from the hidden moon.

 

“C’mon, we should get back inside,” Shinjiro spoke up.

 

He started to walk away, but Akihiko stayed put. “Hey, uhm…you know the legend of Castor and Pollux, right?” He wasn’t sure why, but it had taken him nearly two weeks to gather the courage to ask that simple question.

 

A simple question for, perhaps, what wouldn’t be a simple answer.

 

“Huh? Where’d that come from?”

 

“Do you?”

 

The brunette shook his head. “Well…yeah, of course. Ain’t there a few different versions of the legend, though?”

 

“They were brothers,” Akihiko started. “Pollux was a demigod, while Castor was only a mortal. One day, the two of them snuck away from some party to steal a herd of cattle from their cousins as an act of revenge. Something about attempting to steal another herd, but the cousins had gotten away with the entirety of it instead of divvying it up or…” He shook his head, trailing off. “Either way, Castor climbed a tree to keep watch while Pollux worked on freeing the cattle. Except Castor was spotted and ambushed by the one of the cousins and fatally wounded by a spear. He had still had time to warn Pollux, though. So, Pollux killed one of the cousins, while the other was killed by Zeus before the cousin could kill Pollux as well. Pollux then went to his dying brother’s side. He had a choice to make: Live out his life on Mount Olympus, or give half his immortality to his brother. He opted to give a second chance to his brother, thus allowing them to travel back and forth between Olympus and the Underworld. They also became the two brightest stars in the Gemini constellation.” He looked up towards the cloudy sky. “The twins.”

 

“Hmm. Pollux gave up his immortality to keep his brother alive,” Shinjiro spoke up, his voice soft. “Like you’d be that selfless.”

 

A poorly timed joke. _I took a bullet for you. Maybe you don’t remember, but it happened. And I would do it again if I had to._ “Now’s not the time to be a prick, Shinji.”

 

“Sorry, I just…” He let out a heavy sigh. “C’mon, Aki, we’re both soaked to the bone. If we don’t get into dry clothes soon, we’re gonna get sick. And we can’t afford to get sick with a full moon coming up.”

 

“We still have two weeks.”

 

“Tch. Are you okay? What even is all this about Castor and Pollux anyway? Why the sudden interest in them?”

 

“They’re our Personas. Why wouldn’t I be interested?”

 

“Technically, your Persona is Polydeuces.”

 

“Shut up, they’re basically the same.”

 

“Okay. Semantics aside, it just seems random.”

 

He shrugged his shoulders. “Like I said, I’ve been thinking a lot lately.”

 

“About the other Septembers?” the brunette said again.

 

Akihiko pulled the wool coat tighter around him in response. The legend was all too real. Perhaps the brunette wasn’t wounded by a spear, but he came damn well close. It was all just too perfect. Akihiko’s Persona having lightning skills. Shinjiro’s having only physical abilities. Amada’s weapon being a spear. All of a sudden, it felt almost…planned out. All of a sudden, it was no longer a simple coincidence. It was predestined.

 

There was no other explanation.

 

“If this is some master plan,” Akihiko spoke up, “then why am I reliving the same month over again? Why am I getting so many second chances?”

 

“Aki…”

 

He turned to face the brunette. Before he could say anything else, though, a strong breeze passed through him. He shivered, finally realising how cold he was. Neither of them had to say another word to know it was time to go back inside. So, they headed down to the second floor, careful with their footing. The dorm became almost pitch black during the Dark Hour, after all.

 

When they finally reached the second floor, they both went into Shinjiro’s bedroom. He fumbled around a bit before managing to get a candle lit on his desk. He then pulled the soaked coat off Akihiko and hung it on the back of his desk chair. Akihiko shivered again before the brunette returned. He started pulling at the other’s shirt, to which Akihiko was quick to halt the action.

 

Shinjiro placed his forehead against the other’s. “We’re gonna get sick if we stay in these wet clothes.” His voice was soft. Soothing. “Nothing’s gonna happen if you don’t want it to.” He swallowed hard. “I promise.”

 

Akihiko only nodded in response. He then allowed the brunette to pull off his shirt before removing his own. It had been stuck to his skin, and it was a relief to be free of it. Then he found himself gawking as the brunette began pulling off his pants. Shinjiro was quick to notice the staring and smirked at him.

 

“I trust you’re capable of getting yourself out of your own pants?”

 

His face burned up as he spun around to face away from the brunette. He heard his low chuckle as he started unbuttoning his own pants. He tugged them off, nearly falling over in the process. He stumbled back, only to be caught by the now half-naked brunette. Akihiko kicked his pants the rest of the way off before rebalancing himself on his feet. He faced Shinjiro, who was already rummaging through his drawers. He soon threw an old pair of pajama bottoms of Akihiko.

 

“One more layer,” Shinjiro said.

 

That was when Akihiko stopped breathing. He turned away again as he hesitantly started to remove his boxers. He wanted to keep them on, but the dampness was definitely more than uncomfortable. So, he hooked his fingers beneath the waistband, but paused before going any further. He peaked over his shoulder at the brunette only to find him already staring back. His face went bright red again, and—And there was that chuckle again. He shook his head as he made quick work of removing his boxers and pulling on the dry pair of pants. But he didn’t turn back to the brunette until he felt him wrapping his arms around his torso.

 

“We should get to bed,” he said right in his ear.

 

Akihiko shivered. He then craned his head to the side to capture Shinjiro’s lips in a kiss. The brunette was more than happy to reciprocate the action, turning the other in his arms before allowing his hands to fall to his hips. He squeezed lightly, causing Akihiko to gasp into the kiss. Shinjiro smirked against his lips, squeezing again, a little harder. Akihiko’s hips bucked against the brunette’s, and the friction was—

 

It was like the missing puzzle piece.

 

“Tell me what you want, Aki,” Shinjiro spoke up, their lips still touching.

 

“I want—” He stopped, swallowing hard. Akihiko knew what wanted, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready. He felt as if there were still too many unanswered questions for them to take that next step. “I’m tired.”

 

The brunette pulled away from him with a soft smile on his lips. Not a smirk. A genuine smile. An understanding smile. “Let’s go to sleep, then.”

 

So, they crawled into Shinjiro’s bed together, relishing in each other’s body heat. Just like when the power would go out at the orphanage when they were kids. Except now it was so much better. Now the brunette felt warmer. Now they held on to each other like one of them would slip away if they were to let go. Now it was just—

 

It was right.


	21. The Sheets

Just as quickly as everything had fallen into place, everything seemed to fall right back apart.

 

It was a blur of sharp movement. A rush of misinterpreted words. Akihiko wasn’t even able to process what was being said because he felt as if he couldn’t hear anything. Every other sound was being drowned out by the screaming in his own head. _No. This can’t be happening. This is wrong._ Over and over and over again…

 

When they were kids, fighting didn’t matter. The punches didn’t hurt as much, and the words didn’t mean anything. By the next day, it was always over. Like it had never even happened to begin with. Even the bruises never lasted more than a day or two. Growing up means letting go of that soft exterior, though. It means forcing the body to accept the venom to grow an immunity.

 

Akihiko and Shinjiro were each other’s venom. But they were also each other’s antidote. When one struck, the other knew how to deflect the attack. And if the venom got in their veins, it wasn’t long before it was flushed out with no lasting effect. Nothing other than a barrier. One that made them feel like they were total strangers. One they couldn’t break through with even their most basic form of communication. So, the dialect they once shared had become two separate languages that neither of them could now interpret.

 

Except they weren’t strangers. And they weren’t kids anymore. And the venom they used to spit at each other had long since been drained.

 

So, when Akihiko stormed off to his room, he was more than surprised to notice Shinjiro coming after him. Following him. Before he had the chance to tell him off, though, their lips were crashing together. Hard and bruising and Akihiko swore he could taste blood. He could also taste the brunette as his tongue found its way into his mouth.

 

That moment was a struggle. A battle for dominance. And as soon as Akihiko felt his back slam against the wall, he knew he had lost.

 

Then everything came to a standstill.

 

Shinjiro was holding Akihiko by his wrists, pinning him to the wall. They were barely a breath apart. So, he stepped back, releasing him at the same time. They stood there, not daring to glance at one another. They now stood a few mere steps apart as they worked on catching their breath. Only a few steps, but it somehow felt like miles.

 

It was a quiet moment. And when their eyes finally met, there was a spark. A spark that broke through what may have been left of any blockade. It was an understanding. A revelation. As if a whole new language had been discovered. A language so much more intricate than the one they used to communicate with. It was so much more involved. So much more…loving.

 

Shinjiro closed the distance between him and Akihiko again, a sense of reluctance in his step. Then their lips were connecting once more. Except it was softer this time. Tender. Chaste. It was an apology and _I forgive you_ all in one. Then the brunette’s hands found their way to his hips, as they always did, and squeezed. His hips bucked forward against the other’s, and there was that friction again. That touch he so desired.

 

Maybe it was time to give in to those desires.

 

Akihiko tugged at the hem of Shinjiro’s shirt a couple times as his neck was being kissed and nipped. When the brunette didn’t get the hint, he let out a soft whine, which caused Shinjiro to growl in response. It was a predatory sound. Still, he pulled away and pulled off his turtleneck, removing Akihiko’s shirt afterwards. Akihiko remembered back to almost a week prior when he had to undress himself from his wet clothes in front of the brunette. He thought about how embarrassed he had been in that moment, but now… Hell, now it was an adrenaline rush.

 

He traced Shinjiro’s bared chest with light fingers. He could feel the tremor of his muscles. How they tensed when he brushed over sensitive skin. He felt the raise of past scars. The outline of his ribcage. His collarbones. His hips. He could feel how calloused his fingers were against the brunette’s soft skin. Not that the other seemed to mind.

 

Shinjiro’s hands wrapped around Akihiko’s wrists, bringing them above their heads and pinning them to the wall once again. The brunette placed his forehead against the other’s before kissing it. Then he kissed the tip of his nose. The corners of his lips. His ears. His jaw. His neck. Akihiko squirmed at each gentle touch, letting out soft gasps that seemed to urge Shinjiro to keep going. Keep kissing. So, he did. He released Akihiko’s wrists, tracing his fingers down his arms as he dropped to his knees. The brunette kissed his chest. His torso. And when he kissed under his bellybutton, Akihiko’s breath caught in his throat. For such a light touch, it was an overwhelming sensation. And Shinjiro kept mouthing at the same spot until Akihiko found himself laughing and pushing him away. The brunette couldn’t help but smile, as well, as he returned to his feet. He then pulled the other away from the wall to wrap his arms around him.

 

The three words Shinjiro whispered in Akihiko’s ear caused him to break.

 

They were kissing again. Harder this time. More fervently. Tripping over their own feet as they stumbled towards the bed. Soon enough, the back of Akihiko’s knees hit the frame and he went tumbling over, Shinjiro just about dropping on top of him. That didn’t slow either of them down, though. They kept kissing, their hands roaming each other. Akihiko never wanted to stop feeling Shinjiro’s warmth. It was so much better on skin than it was through clothing.

 

Then the brunette sat back. Akihiko propped himself up on his elbows as he watched his actions. Shinjiro reached for his pants, undoing the button. That was when Akihiko faced a moment on panic. When he locked eyes with the other, though, the fear vanished. He swallowed hard, blushing fiercely as he continued to watch Shinjiro. Watched him as he slid off the bed to remove his pants. Watched him as he unbuttoned Akihiko’s pants next, pulling them off to join their other articles of clothing somewhere on the floor.

 

When Shinjiro crawled back over him and brought their hips together, Akihiko could’ve screamed. He could’ve, but the only sound that passed his lips was that of a whimper. It was a sound that brought a smirk to the brunette’s face. So, he ground their hips together again, eliciting the same reaction. And he kept moving his hips against the other’s, until Akihiko reached down to stop him. When he did, the look in Shinjiro’s eyes prompted a serious question. Akihiko smiled at him in reassurance before reaching a hand between their bodies.

 

It wasn’t long before he had the brunette gasping and shaking. His arms gave way, and he collapsed on top of the other. Akihiko managed to roll them over before there was any real pressure on his body. Shinjiro’s eyes squeezed shut and he was grasping at the sheets as his hips kept bucking off the bed. And as Akihiko leaned down closer to him, he ceased all his movements.

 

He reciprocated the three words Shinjiro had spoken to him earlier, causing the brunette to groan.

 

Next thing Akihiko knew, he was on his back again, and Shinjiro was reaching between his thighs. Their bodies pressed together as the brunette whispered calming words in his ear. Distracting words. Soothing words. And every time Akihiko dug his nails into his back, the brunette nipped at his ear.

 

Soon enough, though, Akihiko was rolling his hips against Shinjiro’s. If he was speaking, then his words were incoherent. The words were only that of the other’s name. Especially when the brunette had his hands pinned over his head again and was mouthing at his neck. Hell, he couldn’t think about anything except the feel of the other’s body against his own. Skin pressed to heated skin. Lips kissing anywhere they could reach. Hair. Ears. Cheeks. Jaw. Shoulders. It didn’t matter. Every spot felt better than the previous one.

 

And then there was lightning. It was in Akihiko’s eyes. Beneath his skin. Flowing through his bloodstream.

 

By the time he came down from his high, Shinjiro was lying motionless beside him. His eyes were closed and his breathing had evened out. He rolled over to his side, propping himself up on one elbow. The brunette’s eyes fluttered open and Akihiko smiled softly at him. Shinjiro reached a hand up, slipping it behind Akihiko’s neck. He broke into a full grin as the brunette brought him down for a kiss. They were exhausted, though, so it was sloppy. Off-centre. Much like their first kiss. But that was okay.

 

For a while, Akihiko watched Shinjiro as he rested. The rise and fall of his chest. The way his fingers twitched every so often. The outline of the tendons in his neck whenever he turned his head.

 

When they were kids, he and Shinjiro were friends. He couldn’t remember a time when the brunette was a stranger to him; he had just always been there. They did everything together. Played together. Fought together. Laughed together. Grieved together. It didn’t matter the time or place or emotion. As they grew up, though, he feared they had also grown apart. He feared the day he would become a stranger. The day he would lose him. Somehow, he managed to avoid that day. Better yet, Akihiko never imagined he would know Shinjiro like this. Know the gentle touch of his forehead. Know the caressing touch of his knuckles. He never imaged knowing him this well. This vulnerably.

 

But this sort of…obscured information… These bruises left behind by teeth instead of fists…

 

It was right.


	22. The Fourth

Before Akihiko knew it, the night of the fourth had arrived. The 4th of October and the fourth time he’d had to live through the possibility of Shinjiro’s death. Hmm. Suffer through it was more like it. He wasn’t gonna let his anxiety get the better of him this time, though. And he was gonna get to the brunette before he could leave the dorm.

 

The rest of the group was making their way up to the Command Room in preparation for the night’s excursion. Yamagishi was already there with Mitsuru. But he spotted Aigis and Koromaru go up, followed by Arisato and Takeba. Then Iori headed up.

 

No Amada. No Shinjiro.

 

He rose to his feet and took the few steps down the hallway to Shinjiro’s room. He took a deep breath and raised his hand, but the door opened before Akihiko could knock on it. The brunette stood on the other side of it, looking just as surprised.

 

“Where are you going?” Akihiko spoke up.

 

Shinjiro paused. “Amada asked me to meet him.”

 

“You have to know what it’s about, right?”

 

“Tch. Of course I know what it’s about.”

 

“Then don’t go.”

 

His brow furrowed. “What?”

 

He pushed Shinjiro back into his room and closed the door behind them. “Don’t go. Wait until after the Dark Hour.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I—” he stopped himself, sighing.

 

He nodded. “Right. Because you allegedly know what’s gonna happen.” He paused. “So, why don’t you tell me?”

 

“It could screw everything up, and I’m not willing to take that risk.”

 

He took a step closer to him. “Tell me.”

 

Akihiko swallowed hard. “He wants to avenge his mother, Shinji. He wants to—” He shook his head, unable to finish the sentence. “Takaya’s gonna show up, though, and get in the way.”

 

The brunette let out a heavy sigh. “No matter what’s supposed to happen tonight, the kid still deserves to get this shit off his chest. He deserves for me to hear him out. Hell, I don’t even blame him for wanting to avenge his mother.”

 

 _Damn it._ He was right. He was right, and Akihiko hated that. Amada did deserve that much. It was just hard for Akihiko to accept that. “Just…don’t die.”

 

Now Shinjiro chuckled. “Aki…” He took the other’s face in his hands. “I can’t believe I’m in love with such a moron.”

 

Akihiko didn’t have the chance to even think about reacting before he was being kissed. It was deep and fond and passionate, and there was something considerate about it. Something almost…sympathetic. Everything the two of them had never been growing up. But this was so much better.

 

“I’ll see you later,” Shinjiro said once he pulled away. “I promise.”

 

He left the room, and Akihiko let him go. He believed in the brunette. He believed in that promise. He believed tonight would be different. Better. Right.

 

So, he joined the rest of the group in the Command Room. They discussed the operation in short before making their way towards Iwatodai Station. There was no talk of Shinjiro and Amada yet. And when the Shadows arrived, Akihiko managed to fight with a level head. He was able to fight without feeling like he had a time limit. Then, once the Shadows had been defeated, he wasted no time.

 

This time, though, Mitsuru and the others followed close behind Akihiko. This time, they explained the situation on the way to the back alley. This time, they wouldn’t be too late to save Shinjiro.

 

As soon as they arrived on the scene, Akihiko assessed the situation. Shinjiro was on his knees. Amada was standing between him and Takaya, who had his arm raised. He hadn’t fired the second shot yet. So, instead of acting on the goal of protecting the two of them, Akihiko acted on the goal of disarming Takaya. He rushed him, grabbing hold of his arm, trying to knock the gun out of his hand. Yamagishi and Takeba hurried over to Amada to pull him away, while Koromaru aided Shinjiro as Arisato and Iori attempted to help him to his feet. Mitsuru and Aigis stood in the middle, Evokers at the ready.

 

The gun went off again, firing into the air. After that, Akihiko managed to knock Takaya to the ground. The revolver dropped from his hand and he kicked it away from them. It skidded across the blood-ridden ground until it was stopped by Aigis’s foot.

 

“Game’s over,” Akihiko spoke up. “You lose.”

 

“How disappointing,” Takaya said. He smirked. “You mustn’t jump to such outlandish conclusions.”

 

“Senpai,” Iori called to him.

 

Akihiko turned his head to see everyone now gathered around Shinjiro. When he looked forward again, he found Takaya disappearing into the shadows. He wanted nothing more than to go after him. To take him down. But he chose to let him go. For now. After all, Shinjiro needed him more. So, he made his way to the brunette’s side. He knelt down, pulling him closer.

 

“Maybe I should’ve listened to you,” Shinjiro spoke up.

 

Akihiko chuckled a bit. “Next time you’ll know better.”

 

“Next time…yeah…” He coughed before taking a few deep, shaky breaths. “Shit, Ken, stop making that face,” he then said.

 

“B-but—” Ken said, but he couldn’t get any other words out.

 

“We need to apply some pressure to the wound to try to limit the bleeding,” Mitsuru then spoke up. “We also need to start making our way for the hospital. Shinjiro, do you think you’ll be able to stand long enough to get there?”

 

“Gonna have to,” Shinjiro said. There was strain in his voice. Discomfort. That was to be expected, but it still caused a twinge of pain in Akihiko as well. “Aki.” He looked back at the brunette in his arms, who smiled weakly up at him. “Let’s go.”

 

This was new. Different. Shinjiro had still been shot, but only once this time. Better yet, getting him to the hospital was actually an option now. Akihiko actually felt…relieved. He felt as if this was how it should be.

 

Maybe this was finally right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!! The final chapter count has /finally/ been revealed!!  
> Don't freak out now with only two more parts to go ;3


	23. The Aftermath

He slipped out of bed and crept out of his room. He took the few steps down the hall to the next room over. He let himself in, not bothering to knock. He moved across the room to the bed against the wall. He then gently shook the sleeping brunette. “Wake up,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “C’mon…wake up, wake up, wake up.” A hand shot out, nearly punching him in the nose. He managed to dodge it, though. “Nice try. Bad aim.”

 

Shinjiro groaned before rolling over. “Why are you so annoying?”

 

Akihiko only smirked in response. “Get up.”

 

He sat up, rubbing his eyes. “It’s almost three o’clock in the morning. Where the hell are we going?”

 

“Haven’t decided yet.”

 

“You’re gonna get us in trouble.”

 

“With who? Kirijo? The Chairman?”

 

“Exactly.”

 

“Tch. Since when do you even care about getting in trouble?”

 

“Since it’s three o’clock in the morning and I’d rather be sleeping.”

 

“Too bad.” He grabbed hold of the brunette’s shoulders and dragged him out of the bed. “Let’s go.”

 

Against his will, Shinjiro got up and followed Akihiko down to the lounge. They then left the dorm and began aimlessly walking around the city. Neither of them spoke, aside from the brunette teasing Akihiko about his obsession with training and protein once that topic somehow came up. Not that he necessarily minded the teasing because, well, he enjoyed the company. Despite living in the same dorm, it wasn’t very often he and Shinjiro got to spend much time together anymore. So, this was nice. It was simple.

 

It was right.

 

~~~~

 

There was a voice in his ear. Near his ear. A voice calling out to him. He shook his head as his eyes fluttered open. He was greeted with a fluorescent light before the Nurse before him came into focus.

 

“Mr. Sanada?” she said. “You’ve been here all night.”

 

Akihiko was suddenly wide awake and he sat up straight. He checked his surroundings to find himself at the hospital. He was at the hospital. Not back in the dorm. And he had been there all night. So, maybe that meant— It had to mean—

 

“What day is it?” he spoke up.

 

The Nurse laughed a little. “It’s October fifth.”

 

October 5th. It was a new day. A brand new day.

 

“A-and…Shinji?” He was almost afraid to ask, but he had to ask. Of course he had to ask. But the brunette also had to be okay. He had to be alive. “Is he—?”

 

“He’s been in and out of consciousness all night,” she said. “Currently, he has fallen into a coma, but his condition is stable.”

 

His eyes widened at this. “He’s in a coma?”

 

“Yes, but he seems so strong.” She smiled almost sheepishly. “He fought all night, which impressive in itself.”

 

“Yeah, well, he is a stubborn son of a bitch…” He let out a heavy sigh. “Am I allowed to see him?”

 

“Unfortunately, no, I can’t allow that.”

 

“Then I’ll continue waiting until—”

 

“Mr. Sanada, he won’t be allowed any visitors for quite a while. We need to keep him as stable as possible while he’s in this coma and while we try to get a recovery process going. The moment his condition changes, though, we’ll be sure to contact you.”

 

 He shook his head. “That’s not good enough…”

 

“It’s all we can do right now.” She paused. “You should go home and relax. Take the day off from classes. Besides, sleeping in the chair of a hospital waiting room isn’t very restful. So, go home and rest and eat.”

 

Akihiko only kept shaking his head. “I-I—I can’t leave him.” His voice was soft, yet the words still cracked.

 

The Nurse then sat beside him. “Please, don’t stop taking care of yourself because of this. Make sure you are in your best condition for when he comes to, because he’ll be in his worst condition. Be strong for him.”

 

He swallowed hard, finally nodding. “Okay. Th-thank you.”

 

With that, Akihiko took his leave. As soon as he stepped out of the hospital, though, he fell to the ground. He lay there, staring at the sky. It was bright blue, which seemed almost odd.

 

Hmm. Shinjiro was alive, but he was in a coma… It was October 5th, though, so he had to have been successful. He had to have done it right this time or else—Or else it would’ve been September 2nd again. Right? Right.

 

All Akihiko wanted was a sense of relief. He didn’t want to have to grieve. He wanted the brunette. His best friend. He wanted to see him. To smile at him. To kiss him. Maybe even give him a good punch for scaring him. Most of all, though, he wanted to tell him he loved him. He wanted proof he had saved him. He wanted—

 

For the first time in forever, Akihiko wanted them to just be kids again. Running around without a care in the world. No Personas. No Dark Hour. No Tartarus. Just two kids being stupid and reckless. Two kids teasing each other and trying to impress each other. All he wanted was that simplicity.

 

Instead, though, he had to wait. He had to keep fighting. He had to stay strong. And that was exactly what he would do. So once Shinjiro did wake up, he’d be proud of him. He’d call him a moron, no doubt, but he’d still be proud. And that would be good enough. More than enough. That would be right.

 

Maybe Shinjiro wasn’t awake right now. In a few days or weeks or months, though, when he did come to, Akihiko would be there. He was willing to wait because the brunette was worth it. Besides, they once made a promise, and he had every intention of keeping that promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooo, the struggle to post this chapter was seriously real x.x My laptop did not want to cooperate with me and I was starting to get super pissed off. But I have succeeded and triumphed in my endeavors x3  
> Happy Spring Equinox )O(


	24. The Awakening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are. At another ending. A bittersweet ending.  
> I wrote it in the tags that I personally feel this fic has been my best work yet, and I still feel that way. On top that, I am so very content with this ending. Like, I've read it over so many times now and there is not a single damn thing about it I would change.  
> That being said, as per usual, I want to thank everyone who took this journey with me. Thank you for reading and commenting and always coming back more. I hope you all enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. It means the world to me that it got as many hits and kudos as it did. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much, because this fic is my treasure <3 <3

His hands were covered in blood. He himself was covered in blood, yet all he could focus on was the brunette in his arms. The reason for the blood.

 

Everything had happened so quickly. All he knew was that there had been gunshots and yelling and—Nothing else mattered. The only thing on his mind was his best friend and the two bullet holes in his body.

 

He held onto the brunette as tightly as he could. Held him close to his body, trying to keep him warm. He was speaking, but he couldn’t hear him past the ringing in his ears. Couldn’t read his lips through the tears brimming his eyes. The world around him was falling apart. Crumbling. Everything he knew was fading away. Falling out of existence. Leaving him in a state of empty terror.

 

His best friend was dying.

 

_Keep your eyes open. C’mon, stay with me. You gotta pull through for me. Please. You can’t die now. There’s too much left for you to fight for. You need to be here to finish what you started. This isn’t right. You can’t leave me._

 

Those words seemed so familiar to him. Yet, they sounded so distant. Like he hadn’t said them out loud. Huh. Maybe he hadn’t. He couldn’t tell anymore.

 

When the brunette’s eyes locked with his, though, everything stopped. Everything came back into focus. And the next words he spoke stood out to him. Those words were what stayed with him:

 

_This is how it should be._

 

~~~~

 

Akihiko shot up, breathing heavy. He wiped his forehead, realising he had broken into a cold sweat. He took a few deep breaths as he tried to calm down. Then he slipped out of the bed and out of the room. He stumbled his way to the kitchen to get himself a glass of water. He stood at the counter as he drank it, trying not to think about anything else. He just focused on the water as it trickled down his dry throat.

 

Then there were arms wrapping around his waist and a chin resting on his shoulder.

 

“I had that dream again,” Akihiko spoke up after a moment. “That nightmare.”

 

“You mean the one where I ended up dying?” Shinjiro said. Akihiko nodded in response, and the brunette sighed. “Aki, c’mon, it’s been three and a half years since that night. Everything’s good now. Sure, I was in a coma for, like, five months—”

 

“Nine months,” he said.

 

“Same difference.” He shook his head. “The point is that I’m here. I’m alive.”

 

“I know, but…I-I almost lost you.” He pulled away from him so he could turn around and face him. “What if I had lost you? What would I have done?”

 

“Tch. That’s a dumb question.” He shrugged his shoulders. “You would’ve carried on as normal. You wouldn’t have let my death slow you down.”

 

Akihiko’s gaze fell to the floor. “I’m not sure if I would’ve been strong enough.”

 

“Don’t be stupid, Aki. You’ve always been strong enough.”

 

“I dunno. I watched you die twice and almost die a third time.”

 

Now Shinjiro rolled his eyes. “Are you still going on about that repeated September shit? I’m telling you, Aki, it was only another dream.”

 

“I know it was real. Doesn’t mean you have to believe me.”

 

He paused. “If you went through it four times, then how come I only allegedly died three of those times?”

 

“Two. You survived the last one.”

 

“Then what about the other time?”

 

“I died in your place.”

 

He paused again before he chuckled at him. “Now I know you’re being ridiculous. Three years later and I also can’t believe I’m still putting up with you.”

 

He grinned. “Because you love me.”

 

“Tch.” He slipped his arms back around Akihiko. “Consider yourself lucky.”

 

“I do. I am. I’m lucky to have you. I’m lucky I didn’t lose you that night. That you do put up with me. That—”

 

Before he could get another word out, the brunette kissed him. He didn’t resist, though. He didn’t want to. Whenever they kissed, the rest of the world came to a standstill. Stars aligned. They became invincible. When they kissed, nothing could go wrong. No words could be left unspoken.

 

Kissing Akihiko to shut him up had become Shinjiro’s new headbutt. It was the new final word.

 

As they kissed, Shinjiro lifted Akihiko onto the countertop behind him. He let out a soft gasp, but refused to break away. Kissing the brunette had become his favourite pastime. His favourite taste. His favourite touch. Being able to feel his warmth was incredible. It reminded him that he was alive. That he had survived. That he had saved him. It was a reassurance that they could withstand anything.

 

“Come back to bed,” Shinjiro soon said in his ear. “Then I’ll help you forget all about that dream of yours.”

 

Akihiko shivered at the insinuation. “I don’t wanna move from this spot.”

 

“Well, I suppose I could help you forget right here.”

 

Now he blushed deep. “Except you said never in the kitchen.”

 

“C’mon, I thought you liked breaking the rules.”

 

“Not as much as I like you.”

 

That was when the brunette pulled away, laughing. “You’re such a sap.”

 

He smiled in response. He then hopped off the counter and wrapped his arms around the other’s neck before kissing him again. Shinjiro pulled him even closer against his body as he kissed him back.

 

“You better be done growing by now,” Akihiko said against his lips. “I don’t like the fact that you’re so much taller than me.”

 

“I bet all that protein stunted your growth.”

 

He punched his shoulder lightly. “Shut up. Prick.”

 

He smirked back. “Will you come back to bed with me now?”

 

“Not until you admit you believe me.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“I lived through September four times back in 2009. I pretty much had the month down to a science by the time I successfully saved you.”

 

Now the brunette rolled his eyes at him. “You’re never gonna live this bullshit down, are you?”

 

“Glad you’re seeing it my way.”

 

“Don’t get cocky.”

 

“I thought that was what you wanted, though.”

 

With that, Shinjiro pushed Akihiko against the counter with a growl. “Looks like we’re gonna be breaking the rules tonight.”

 

Akihiko laughed as he was kissed again, but he went along with the motions. After all, he could never resist the brunette.

 

He still couldn’t believe the way things had worked out. If he had told himself ten years ago that he would’ve ended up falling in love with his best friend, he would’ve thought it was some prank. Hell, if he had told himself that three and a half years ago, he would’ve thought the same. Yet, here he was, kissing his best friend in the kitchen of their very own apartment.

 

Through the ups and the downs—the punching and the hand-holding—there wasn’t a single thing Akihiko would change. Because whenever he kissed Shinjiro, everything felt right. Everything seemed to fall into place. Even if he had the opportunity to go back and relive his life, he would still want to end up here. It didn’t matter if it was the same city or the same apartment or the same room. On top of a jungle gym, on a roof, or under the stars. So long as he was with the brunette, he was in the right place.

 

Akihiko and Shinjiro were each other’s pasts, presents, and futures. Fixed points in time. Fixed people. Together, they would always beat the odds. Together, they could face death and overcome it.

 

Together, they were bulletproof.


End file.
